Printer-friendly version Reader Comments

Too many people cared too deeply and worked too hard for this issue to go away from Maine's political scene.

JESSE CONNOLLY November 8, 2009

On April 22, I attended a public hearing in support of LD 1020, An Act to End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom. For hours, I listened to men, women, parents, children, grandparents, and friends share their personal stories about their lives and families.

More than once I was moved to tears. People that had been committed to each other longer than I have been alive spoke honestly and openly about the challenges they face as gay and lesbian couples in Maine.

Whether it was parental rights or inheritance or hospital visitation, it was clear to me that Maine law failed to protect and treat gay and lesbian couples with the same amount of decency and dignity than my wife and I were guaranteed in our marriage.

A few weeks after the public hearing, I joined thousands in celebration as the Maine Legislature passed and Gov. Baldacci signed the state's first marriage equality bill into law. In the rotunda at the State House, I witnessed marriage proposals, children's peals for joy and grandparents overcome with emotion.

Shortly thereafter, I was honored to be asked to lead the effort to keep the law on the books should a repeal effort end up on the November ballot. For the next five months, I had the pleasure to work with an incredibly talented group of people, gay, straight, young, old, Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, traveling from the north and the south and everywhere in between in the state of Maine.

HONEST TALK

Together, we led a campaign unlike any this state has seen before. We talked honestly and openly to tens of thousands of Mainers. We responded to scare tactics and deception with truth. We knocked on doors and volunteered. We shared our deeply personal, sometimes painful stories with coworkers, colleagues and neighbors.

Every step of the way, it was Mainers speaking to Mainers about their lives.

These conversations changed the hearts and opened the minds of voters to the idea that love and commitment is what defines a marriage; that civil marriage does not threaten one's religion or own marriage, it is just fair.

People spoke out. Men like Phillip Spooner – an 86-year-old veteran of Normandy beach – who said he fought for equality for all his sons, gay and straight.

Women like Mary Bonauto, who gave voice to families – she has been with her partner 22 years, raising twin girls. Youth like Sam Putnam, who spoke for the thousands of children of gay couples that attend Maine's public schools.

Contrary to the outcome of Election Night, these conversations did not fall on deaf ears. Mainers were and will continue to be affected by the injustice and discrimination Maine law applies to loving, caring gay and lesbian couples in committed relationships because deep down we all care deeply about equality, about treating all families equally, about fairness and the very Maine notion that it is not for me to say how you live your life.

For the past few days, I have agonized and beaten myself up over the repeal of Maine's marriage equality law. It is easy to get lost in what feels like defeat, but we cannot. The simple truth is that we made great strides toward equality. This bell cannot be un-rung.

DEEP CONFLICTS

I know that many who voted to repeal this law were deeply conflicted. The very fact that voters voiced support for "No on 1" in conversations with pollsters and then in the privacy of the voting booth checked off "yes" speaks to the difficulty people had with the issue.

And I firmly believe that in time, as they continue to think about marriage equality and how it affects their lives, as they continue the conversations they started with their friends and family members who spoke the truth, often for the first time, about the challenges and injustices they face in Maine, people will change their minds.

They will see that...