enlarge John Ewing/Staff Photographer

Dave Kilborn has a Gorham High football team to coach, but football became a lower priority when his son, a tight end, was in an auto accident five days before the opener.

GORHAM — The phone rang that Sunday night in late August and neither Dave Kilborn nor his wife, Heather, gave it much thought. He's the head football coach at Gorham High and she's an elementary school teacher. They have three teenage sons.

Their phones ring a lot, although not with news that can turn a 6 p.m. dinner hour upside down with anxiety.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Abe Kilborn told his mother over the phone. "I'm sorry. I rolled the car."

He sounded coherent and, as you might imagine, a little distraught. There was comfort in hearing his voice. If he was talking, that meant the Kilborns may have lost a Toyota 4Runner but not their eldest son.

Then Heather Kilborn heard someone in the background call for an ambulance.

Life's wake-up calls don't come with advance warnings. Dave Kilborn and his football team were five days away from the Sept. 4 opener with Cheverus. Abe Kilborn was a senior tight end who had worked to become an impact player. Father and son had plans and dreams, and both involved football.

The Rams weren't favored to win a championship when the season started, but earning a berth in the playoffs was realistic. Dave Kilborn, a tight end himself at Lake Region High and the University of Maine, is the son of a football coach. Their home, in the neighborhood adjacent to the high school, is a short walk to the locker room and football fields.

Football jumps to the top of most lists and nearly everything else fights for second. Dave Kilborn says he's done better keeping his priorities in line. And that was before Aug. 30.

Abe Kilborn had his mother's SUV at Shaw Park, a 7.5-acre community park on the banks of the Presumpscot River. It was more than an hour from sunset. He was driving off gravel onto pavement when his tires caught. A utility pole loomed in front of his bumper and he quickly cut his wheels.

A rear tire may have gone flat and the 4Runner flipped. The sunroof popped and Kilborn, who wasn't wearing his seat belt, was ejected. He was bloodied but in the moments after the crash, appeared not to be critically hurt.

His parents arrived, with Heather jumping out before Dave could park. They saw their son on a stretcher, his neck in a brace. At Maine Medical Center, tests revealed a bruised lung and two small vertebrae fractures in his lower back. Abe would need stitches for his cuts. His back would feel stiff and sore, not to mention other parts of his body, but he would be mobile. After treatment, his parents took him home.

Life is precious and Abe Kilborn was fortunate. Family and friends of Guy Kitoko, a Deering High football player killed in an early Sunday morning accident, are mourning the loss of a son. As the Kilborns discovered, no one is spared from the danger.

"We didn't sleep that well that night," said Dave Kilborn, sitting in a chair on the back deck of his home. "The next day at school, after an hour, the principal let me go home. It took a couple of days to relax."

Kilborn still had to prepare his team for the opener. "I had to be at football practice. I have a great staff. They helped me get through those days."

It was much more difficult for his son. Sitting next to his father, Abe said he no longer was in pain. In fact, he was hurting from the remorse of making a mistake and complicating his family's lives and embarrassed by the attention he's received. "He likes to be the guy who makes the great block and receives a quiet 'nice job' on the sideline after someone scores," says his father.

Abe Kilborn has resumed jogging while he waits for a doctor to clear him for football practice. Playing video football games is a poor substitute. Gorham has lost the first three games of its season and that hasn't brightened his mood, either.

Dave Kilborn smiles. "He's alive. That's what matters."

Staff Writer Steve Solloway can be contacted at 791-6412 or at:

ssolloway@pressherald.com