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Same-sex marriage is a change, but one based on long-held and cherished beliefs about fairness.

GREG KESICH August 18, 2009

Both sides in the same-sex marriage debate can agree on one thing: This November's referendum seeking to overturn Maine's marriage equality law will be decided on voters' deeply held values.

For those who believe that you should live and let live, treat others as you want to be treated and that you should keep government out of private lives, the only vote can be "no."

Last spring, Maine became the fifth state to legally recognize marriages between partners of the same sex. It was the first to pass it through the legislative process without being forced into it by the courts. (Our only neighbor, New Hampshire, followed shortly.)

That's important, because a change this big should not be imposed from above. Maine's Constitution puts the ultimate authority in the hands of the people, so this year we will be in the position of asking a primarily heterosexual electorate to pass judgment on whether same-sex couples should be able to forge legal relationships that will recognize them and their children as families. When deciding how to cast their votes, Maine people should trust their values and not get distracted by the noise.

A lot of money will be spent trying to convince voters that they would lose something if this law were allowed to stand. The argument will be made that the "institution of marriage" itself will be damaged – that somehow permitting same-sex couples to marry will diminish other marriages.

But there is no institution of marriage, just millions of marriages, all independent. A same-sex union between one couple won't undermine another couple's traditional marriage any more than would someone else's divorce. People marry each other, not institutions.

Expect to hear that if the referendum fails, Maine people would be forced to recognize relationships of which they don't approve. But that happens already.

Doctors, nurses, school secretaries – even IRS agents – don't get to decide which couples deserve to be considered married. Either they have a license or they don't, and if they do, they get to make medical decisions, pick a child up from school or file a joint tax return without facing any questions about their sexual practices. Basic fairness dictates that same-sex couples should be able to formalize their relationships without having to pass a moral test that is only imposed on them.

Without a doubt, this law represents a change from the way things were when most of us were growing up, but that's not reason enough to maintain the status quo. There is a cultural shift afoot, which is why polls show that young voters are much more comfortable than their parents with changing the marriage laws.

Sure, this is new. But the values behind it – fairness, privacy, tolerance of people who are different than you – are not new and have long traditions in Maine.

The Legislature and the governor did the right thing when they passed this law and Maine voters should do the right thing as well. In November, we should vote "no" on Question 1.