I’m "from away" but spend summers in Maine at our camp. Sometimes on winter evenings when we are with friends, they ask us about our “summer home.”

“You really must visit us there sometime,” we say.  After that we forget about it, but then summer comes and they ask when would be a good time to visit us.  Where they live, the summers are bummers.

 I panic and make a list:

1.     Make beds with clean sheets

2.     Go to Laundromat to ensure adequate towel supply (camp septic won’t support a washer)

3.     Purchase drinking water—1 gal. per day/person. (carry it down 42 steps from driveway to camp)

4.     Set up shower schedule

5.     Plan meals—find recipes

6.     Go to grocery store, produce stand, fish market

7.     Plan sightseeing itinerary

8.     Find someone to let out dog while sightseeing

9.     Fill car with gas on way to airport to pick up guests

“Gorgeous!” exclaims guest Vanessa as she gazes out over the lake where the afternoon sun sparkles.  A loon yodels. I feel smug.

Taking a jug of Poland Spring water from the fridge, Vanessa fills a tall glass to the brim.  She takes a sip and tosses the rest into the sink. Sigh. I invite her to the deck to enjoy the sunset. She takes a freshly laundered towel and wipes the pollen off a chair before sitting down. Sigh again.

Our guests have a wonderful time in Maine and love it as much as we do. They get past camp privy problems (if it’s yellow, let it mellow, etc.).  If you’ve ever been my houseguest, know that the guest I’m writing about here isn’t you—it’s the guest who came the week before —or the week after. To all my guests: Welcome to Maine!