enlarge Courtesy Maine Army National Guard

Col. Jack Mosher gets ready to run the Mount Washington road race carrying a 15-pound stone.

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Picture yourself at the bottom of Mount Washington, staring up at the faraway summit.

Now picture yourself running 7.6 miles up the mountain's twisting auto road in just over three hours.

Now picture yourself doing it with a 15-pound brick strapped to your back.

Are we having fun yet?

"I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy it a lot," said Col. Jack Mosher. "But I think it's an important thing to do."

Mosher, 45, is director of operations for the Maine Army National Guard. He's also one of the 900-plus runners who will take a deep breath Saturday morning at 10 and, step by painful step, ascend 4,650 vertical feet to the top of the highest peak in the Northeast.

With a rock on his back.

No, it's not an in-your-face message to other runners that he's the toughest in the field – although he probably is.

Rather, it's a metaphorical message to every soldier in Maine and beyond who's struggling with the emotional and psychological baggage he or she brought home from Iraq or Afghanistan.

"How much does it weigh?" Mosher said, holding up the stone Tuesday at Maine Army National Guard headquarters in Augusta. "It weighs the weight of the world. The weight of loneliness. The weight of depression. The weight of dependency. The weight of familial fracture. The weight of all those things – that's what it weighs to me."

Two things prompted Mosher to pick up the stone and, well, run with it.

The first came in April, when a close friend and neighbor – himself a Vietnam-era veteran – committed suicide.

"He was very proud of his service, I know that," Mosher said. "But he had a lot of problems that went on for a long time. And as a veteran, I wish he'd had more opportunity for recovery."

The second catalyst is the ever-increasing strain on the military, both nationally and here in Maine, as the nation's strategic pendulum swings from Iraq toward Afghanistan. By this time next year, the Maine Guard will have more troops deployed simultaneously throughout the two war zones, many for the second or even third time, than at any other time since World War II.

Add to that the fact that military suicides are already at an all-time high – last year, the Pentagon reported 128 soldier suicides with another 15 suspected cases still under investigation – and it's easy to understand why Mosher, who was a combat adviser in Afghanistan in 2003-04, is worried.

So is Lt. Col. Andy Gibson, the Maine Guard's chaplain and an Afghanistan veteran.

Gibson said that while the Maine Guard thankfully has yet to endure a suicide within its ranks, he's counseled more than a few returning soldiers who had the good sense to seek help before their troubles overwhelmed them.

"The one thing I hear time and time again is, "I just want the pain to stop,'" said Gibson, who also serves as director of deployment-cycle support for the Maine Guard.

Gibson's and Mosher's goal: to persuade all Maine veterans, as well as families and friends who often are the first to spot the warning signs, that there's no shame in seeking help long before suicide emerges as an option.

Gibson noted that while only about 10 percent of returning soldiers are actually diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, "just about 100 percent are going to have post-traumatic stress issues, readjustment issues."

Himself included.

"I've been back three years now and I still have a heightened startle response," Gibson said, jolting upright in his seat to mimic the involuntary reflex. "Say the phone rings and I'm not expecting it. I know what it is and I know within a millisecond what is happening. But I still can't control it."

What Gibson can do, however, is talk about it. And he hopes that the more soldiers and veterans hear about Mosher's impending conquest of Mount Washington, the more they might want to talk...