I've been having this recurring daydream lately.

I'm in a used-car lot, checking out a just-like-new roadster festooned with all the bells and whistles you could ever imagine.

And Louie the Salesman is hard at work.

"This baby's got you written all over it," Louie says, flashing a gold-tooth smile. "Buy it now and I promise, you'll be thanking me the rest of your life."

I reach out and touch the shiny side mirror. It falls off.

"Uh-oh," I say.

Louie darts down, grabs the mirror and jimmies it back into place.

"Not to worry," he says. "Gimme a check right now and we'll fix that immediately."

I walk around the back. That's when I notice there's no rear window.

"Louie?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah, that," he says. "It came to us that way. Listen kid, we'll fix that, too. Just sign right here and it's as good as done."

I ask Louie to pop the hood. The engine, and everything around it, is coated with black, oily goop.

"Looks like something's leaking in here," I say.

"Maybe, maybe not," Louie says, reaching to quickly close the hood. "But I'll tell you what -- if there is a leak, and I'm not saying there is, we'll replace the whole engine. Trust me, my friend, it'll purr like a kitten!"

I kick a tire. First, the expensive hubcap falls off. Then, without warning, the entire wheel collapses.

"You've got to be kidding me," I mutter, turning to leave.

"No, wait!" Louie hollers behind me. "It's all fixable stuff, I swear! Don't walk away from this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! And remember, you're not just helping yourself if you buy this beauty, you're helping the whole economy! Don't go! I'm hear to HELP you!"

Back to reality.

On Nov. 4, The Olympia Group of Las Vegas wants you, Maine voter, to buy a proposed statute that, just like Louie's roadster, has a few "minor" problems.

For starters, the law would allow patrons as young as 19 to gamble in The Olympia Group's shiny new casino in Oxford County.

But don't worry, they tell us. As soon as you pass the law, they'll fix that.

Speaking of young people, the minimum age for working in the casino would be 18.

But relax, they're going to fix that, too.

The law would give The Olympia Group a voting seat on the "governing body or board" of every entity that receives money from the casino -- such as the Land Use Regulation Commission, the University of Maine Board of Trustees, the Finance Authority of Maine, the Oxford County Board of Commissioners and Lord knows what else.

No, no -- don't faint! They'll fix that! They promise!

The law even gives The Olympia Group a 10-year monopoly on the casino business throughout all of Maine.

But you guessed it. They absolutely, positively swear they'll fix that!

I can hear the casino crowd howling already. It's just plain wrong, they'll say, to equate them with Louie, a fictional used-car salesman who clearly can't be trusted.

They're right.

I trust them less.

Columnist Bill Nemitz can be contacted at 791-6323 or at bnemitz@pressherald.com