Call him Mr. Goosebumps.

No, it's not his real name. The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office announced this week that his true identity is safe with them because, when it's all said and done, he's committed no crime.

Still, when you dress up in women's underwear and repeatedly jump out of your car while stunned female drivers pass by, you're more than just what police have ever-so-carefully referred to as a "person of interest."

You're a risk taker. You're a walking civics lesson on what does -- and doesn't -- constitute criminal behavior. You're Mr. Goosebumps.

"When the private spills over into the public, it's definitely surprising," said Jennifer Norbert, a Cumberland County assistant district attorney. "But it's not always criminal."

Mr. Goosebumps first attracted widespread public scrutiny this month when the sheriff's office announced that six women had crossed paths with him in Standish and Buxton since April of 2007.

"Females, when confronted by this individual, report that he is clad in women's underwear, a garter belt, thigh high stockings and a camisole," stated the sheriff's office press release. "He is also reported to be wearing black high heel boots."

In an interview this week, Sheriff Mark Dion said additional citizen reports and "good police work" led investigators to the man's home, where he and police sat down for a little chat.

Mr. Goosebumps told police that his escapades stemmed from his ongoing "role play" with another adult. (Strangely, said adult was not in his vehicle at the time he put on his roadside shows.)

Beyond that, Dion said, he can't say more out of respect for Mr. Goosebumps', ahem, privacy.

"I don't write the movies -- that's your job," Dion said. He added, "There's more to this story than you'll ever know."

He's got that right. After the sheriff presented his findings -- the bug-eyed witness statements, Mr. Goosebumps' true confession -- to the district attorney's office, ADA Norbert held the bare facts up against Maine's criminal code.

There she found nothing -- not the camisole, not the high-heeled boots, not even the garter belt -- on which to hang a criminal charge.

Obstructing traffic? It turns out Mr. Goosebumps, contrary to earlier reports, pulled his car off the road and never actually impeded oncoming traffic.

Public indecency? Under Maine law, that requires the showing of parts that Mr. Goosebumps, bless him, managed to keep hidden.

Then how about disorderly conduct?

"The person was not acting in any way that was overtly disturbing or caused a scene," Norbert replied.

Bottom line, strange isn't always synonymous with illegal. Or, as prosecutor Norbert so tactfully put it, "there is no crime for being unique."

So now what? Will Mr. Goosebumps retreat to his cross-dressing closet -- or at least stay in his vehicle? Or, now that he has everyone's attention, is he making a beeline for Victoria's Secret?

The sheriff, for one, will be keeping an eye out.

"If he does it again, that tells me he's looking to create a traffic hazard," Dion said. "It says he's looking for trouble or at least more exposure."

Columnist Bill Nemitz can be contacted at 791-6323 or at:

bnemitz@pressherald.com