• Kids struggle to break alcohol's grip
• 'I don't have a problem, and if I do, so what?'
• Maine kids and alcohol
• Schools arm children with arsenal of 'life skills'
• Wounded adolescents find Focus
• Program extends hand to hardened youth
• Alcohol-related deaths in 1995

Mark Gibbons, a Portland undercover officer, calls police headquarters as he checks the validity of a suspicious Florida driver's license. Gibbons' partner, Dean Goodine, interviews the woman supplying the ID outside the Asylum nightclub. "Stopping an underage drinker at the door can save a bar owner from having to pay a fine," says Goodine, adding that some proprietors even page him when they suspect they've been handed a fake ID.Staff photo by David A. Rodgers

The doctor who strapped his 12-year-old son to his bed for days until the alcohol poisoning left his system. The mother who bought her daughter booze in exchange for the daughter getting her pot. The parents who looked away again and again as their daughter drank, stole, skipped school, slipped away. The ones who finally, painfully, threw out a son, hoping to save him.

Parents play a crucial and complex role in the lives of young people with alcohol problems. Some responses help, and some hinder, says Margaret Jones, director of prevention services for Day One.

• Many parents have joined a variety of community-based efforts. They have organized drug-free dances and coffeehouses, hosted roundtable discussions, helped formulate school alcohol policies, established networks of ''safe houses'' in which they guarantee kids will not drink. All community efforts, experts say, help solve what is a community problem.

• Some parents, terrified by the specter of drunken driving, have told their children they can drink if they stay home. Jones criticizes that stand. She says it condones an illegal activity, ignores adults' responsibilities as role models, and sends ''a very, very mixed message - it's OK to experiment, but watch out. Their whole hormonal system drives teen-agers to excess - that's who they are. Kids need but don't know their limits.''

• Kids who are drinking heavily show it, Jones says. They begin to see different, often older friends. They fall asleep in class. Their grades slip. Their breath and clothes smell of alcohol. They grow moody or irritable. Parents can see those signs, she says, if they are looking.

• Once kids get into trouble with alcohol, they must face their problem. Jones blasts an I'm-OK-you're-OK culture that often allows them to ignore it, that ''tells (them) they're wonderful, and they can do whatever they want.''