We've reached a landmark on The Scanner. For the first time the Scanner has dug up a use for bacon that even I'm not entirely comfortable with. That should tell you something.

Also, deep fried Cadbury Creme Eggs. That's when Easter hurts.

UPDATE - 3 p.m. Time Warner announced this afternoon it is scrapping plans to test-run its metered-internet pricing plan because of initial reaction from customers.

We just seem to be running behind schedule on the NXT Desk this week. Fear not, I think The Scanner will make up for it this week. It's got peeps, bacon, cute pets and a horrific new twist in The Snuggie.

So Facebook has flinched and is tweaking its new redesign.

Why did everyone see this coming? And more importantly, why did Facebook do it?

My weekend plans got thrown out the window the other day. Why?

I found out I would be going to South By Southwest Interactive.

So much for college basketball...time to pack the multimedia jump kit again.

You know, when I first started up the Scanner a few years back, I really wasn't sure what to make of it. All I knew is I needed some place to collect and run down all the hilarious/awesome/bizarre/amazing stuff that pops up on the Internets.

There really is no other way to explain how Tom Brady's wife, a cover of Rush's "Limelight," Dr. Mario and more Facebook shame fit together.

Let's just cut to the chase: cats in bongs, McNugget emergencies, and attacks on Chuck E. Cheese? It's been a busy week for The Scanner.

When you flip the on switch to The Scanner each week it's impossible to know what you're going to get. How else could we end up with legislators trying Cocaine, a Twitter War, gold parties and ethical questions on porn?

The answer is meh.*

(*Why "Meh?" See below.)

Trends, fads, memes, whatever you want to call them, can be an ugly and tragic thing. Sure, they seem fun at first. We all laugh the first time we're Rickrolled or see a rip-off of LOLCATs.
But the "25 Things About Me" explosion that has threatened to pull the Internet into a black hole has become an interesting - and bizarre - phenomenon.

How do Michael Jackson's garage sale, the Large Hadron Collider, the Snuggie and booze "shot guns" all fit together?

In the Scanner of course. He insanity (and inanity) of a week's worth of the Interweb's best.

We're careening towards the end of another week, which means it's time to round-up some of the best morsels of entertainment (and bizarreness) from around the Interwebs.

The Scanner is up and running...and has bacon. (Of course.)

For the first time in a long time the Scanner was pumping out too much Internet goodness to be contained here. From Bacon Stupidity and MacGruber to bird-strike video games and politicians on Twitter.

If it keeps up at this rate I may have to start a mini daily scanner. Thoughts?

It's no secret to anyone who has spent 5 minutes online that the Internet has made snooping on your friends, family and neighbors a lot easier.
But these days, as new social networks, mobile devices and location-based applications continue to spring to life, the question is becoming "what's acceptable stalking?"

I'll freely admit the schedule around here on the NXT Desk has been a little off for a few weeks. But it looks like we're getting back to normal, and there's no better normal than the weekly Scanner.
On tap today: Nerd Merit Badges, Bacon Camp, Segway races and unicorns.

Thank you Internets. Thank you.

Let's run through a hypothetical situation here: You're a college baseball player at a Division I school who enjoys posting pictures from your weekend escapades on your Facebook page. Monday morning you wake up to a notice from the dean's office: you've violated the college's student code of conduct.

But how could they know? Because they're scanning Facebook.

Been busy working on a side-project lately that some of you may already know about it. We'll talk about it more tomorrow. But in the meantime, let The Scanner ease your overburdened mind. Let the bounty of the Internets wash over you.

First time I fired up the Scanner in 2009 and it ran like a dream. I take it as a good sign that no matter how times change or how crappy the economy gets, the Internet never seems to run out of hilarious, disturbing and downright bizarre stuff.

Dive in.

What a sweet, sweet bounty Internets. A little bacon, some German gymnastics, exploding Volvos and gifts for journalists.

The Scanner is a gift that keeps on giving.

After finally settling in back on the NXT Desk this week, it's time to fire up the Scanner once again. Luckily the Internet has an unending supply of trivial - and hilarious - information readily available for your consumption.

Turns out if you've ever had problems connecting to PressHerald.com it's really not our fault. Actually, if you've had problems connecting to any sites using your Internet connection at work or home, don't blame the IT guys...blame the people who connect you to the Internet tubes.

Why?

Because PCMag.com says Maine has the 10th slowest Internet Service Providers in the whole country.

According to Google Trends, the phrase "Best Cyber Monday Deals" is a pretty hot search phrase right now.

Wonder why.

You thought the Scanner had disappeared, hadn't you? Be honest. I know I've been an absent minded professor around these parts with the election, but the good news is the election is over! There is some slightly less than good news, but we'll get into that soon enough.

In the meantime, let us wander through the dangerous and hilarious fields of the Interwebs.

The weekend that was, uh, was, a tiring one. Pop!Tech put a serious drain on the batteries, but I won't let that stop me from serving up some of things you may have missed in the last 72 hours.

The Scanner lives, albeit in shortened form...but it lives nonetheless! It's a short take today because things are lively on the NXT Desk. We're splitting time on the politics desk at the moment and getting read to hit the road for Pop!Tech tomorrow.

More details on that later.

If today's Monday Fix seems a little TV-heavy it's because there was a lot of action on the flat screen this weekend. Sports, politics (I guess that's on TV all the time now) and dancing moose, this weekend had it all.

The Monday fix was a bit of a necessity for me this morning, as I was off in Chicago over the weekend and in somewhat of a media blackout. No news, no blogs, not even a single Tweet for two days.

Actually, that was kind of nice, now that I think of it.

In these unsure times of financial turmoil, rest assured that some things are always constant, like The Scanner.

That is until The Scanner becomes insolvent and has to file for bankruptcy or gets bought out by AOL, who in turn gets bought out by General Electric, and so on.

So, relax. Really.

For a while now I've been pondering some sort of Monday blog that looks at a few events or news that broke over the weekend. Sure, we'd all like to say we're just as plugged in on Saturday and Sunday as we are the rest of the week, but the fact is - weekends are for relaxin'.

So maybe The Monday Fix will become a permanent staple.

In case you were wondering, Republican Presidential candidate McCain's campaign suspension has apparentlyset off a "suspension" fire on the Interwebs.

So in light of the situation, I am suspending the blog, but asking The Scanner to continue in my absence.

Oh sweet Internets, you'll never let us down. You're like the cow that never runs out of milk. Really, really bizarre, sometimes unfortunate, milk.

Uh...that means it's time for The Scanner!

I think I'm pretty typical of people my age in that I've got an online presence that doesn't take too much digging to find. I'm on the usual collection of social networking sites - MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter among others.

And like most folks I hopped on the social networking train with the same general concept most people have - staying "connected."

But what does that really mean?

We're back at full strength here on the NXT Desk, and we've got the Scanner all fired up and ready for another week's worth of fabulous Internet treasures.

Luke Livingstone is a busy man thanks to his circle of blogs including Blog About Beer, which you can guess the focus, and Real World Really, a place for common sense advice for new college grads. But today he's got beer on the mind...again.

Sure Coors Light and P.B.R. cost 50 cents a can, and as a college student those prices couldn't be beat. But now that you're a little older, your palate is a little more mature, right?…right? Well, what better way to satisfy your new-found thirst for life's finer-things, your need for a new hobby -- you can only beat Guitar Hero so many times... -- and your ever-tightening budget than learning to brew your own beer!

Rob Landry asks why you wouldn't want to start up a web business here in Portland?

To begin a story about Web design in Portland, Maine, I'll start in the Atlanta airport.

That was where, while I was waiting to board the connecting flight that was to take me to the 2007 SXSW Interactive conference, that I found myself standing next to Andy Clarke. He isn't exactly a household name, but in the world of Web, Clarke - an expert on CSS and a member of the Web Standards Project - is a rock star (he even actually looks like a rock star, a cross between someone from the British Invasion and Austin Powers. You have to admit - he's got style).

We've got another full boat on the Scanner this week, thanks mostly to Olympic fever, booze, fantasy sports and the eternal question all men face: the gadget or the girl.

Oh CraigsList, your capacity for non-stop human comedy knows no bounds.

Sure, some people still prefer Uncle Henry's for their slightly used swimming pool and free rottweiler puppy needs, but can ol' Henry lead to a prostitution bust?

Sorry the Scanner is running late, it was a busy day on the NXT Desk yesterday - as you can see by my story on a the city contracting a designer for a new skate park.

But rest easy, the Scanner is always up and ready, even when I am not!

Once again the Internet has proven to be a formidable foe to a chosen band of fools.

In this case, Deering High School's baseball team.

Here's a pretty big "In Case You Missed It" item from last Friday:
The Federal Communications Commission ruled that Comcast has been blocking and choking up the Internet connection of some of its customers.

Be honest - You thought it was going to be bacon-related news, didn't you?

Here at Press Herald Plaza, we've had a hard time wrangling the beast that is the Interweb this week.

But fear not friends, the Scanner was never damaged, and is in full working order.
Prepare to have your minds blown.

Amazing download speeds! Greater access to your collection of LOLCATS photos and leaked movie trailers! Share photos with friends instantly! The world is at your fingertips!
This is more than likely what Fairpoint Communications would have all of us think after Tuesday's announcement of plans for broadband Internet expansion across New England.

But here's the question - will anyone believe them?

So here's how I spent a good portion of my Sunday (aside from ruminating on "The Dark Knight" after a second viewing) - catching up on reading a growing stack of GQ, Wired and Fast Company, along with a helping of the Sunday New York Times.

Probably not untypical for someone in the word game - but is it typical that I read the magazines and newspapers and not their websites?

The week would truly not be complete without a that healthy dose of internet radiation that is The Scanner. But in my stead, Christian McNeil has stepped up to the plate to provide the goods.

We've got more KG news, the first church of Tiger Woods, a Bruce Wayne sighting, rock, paper, scissors champs and bacon, bacon, bacon.

It's time for the Weekly Scanner.

With the Celt's grand scale thumping of the Lakers and the return of a championship to Boston (oh wait ... didn't Boston just win one last fall? Oh, it's been 17 years since an NBA title? I see...) it seemed fitting to use Kevin Garnett's* now infamous words along with today's Scanner.

Because it's true, on the Internet "anything is possible."

(* I'll spare you the long tortured Timberwolves fan talk about seeing KG win a title for another time...or if you run into me at a bar.)

Time for a quick field trip across the interwebs. Seems this week there has been plenty of news about old 80s and 90s staples creeping back into the social fabric of today.

The Scanner: Where no one's childhood loves are safe.

Hey everybody! The bloggins have been a little light this week since the NXT Desk is working on some projects and other top-secret unlisted projects. Fear not, things will be back on course soon enough.

But for now take comfort in The Scanner: All the unfiltered goodness the Interwebs provides.

Kick off your shoes and grab a beverage - it's time for The Scanner: A slice of this week's Interweb delights.

Cheese Racing! Indiana Jones! Naked Alligator Wrestling!

Hey boys and girls. I was out sick yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to get the Scanner up in time. So here it is for your weekend scanning pleasure. Not sure if we'll get a Weekend blog in today, but I'll make no promises.

In the meantime we've got cats that look like Wilford Brimley, Lindsay Lohan's mom, NBA Jam nostalgia and PBR coffins. Yeah, you only get that in The Scanner.

The view from up here is good - There's a lot of Internets out there, and only so much time. I guess it's a good thing we've got The Scanner - cherry-picking the best of pop culture, music, technology and more.

Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you respect the force of nature that is Chuck Norris?
- Do you enjoy Stuff White People Like?
- Do you find cute pictures of cats and grammatically challenged headlines?

If so, there's something going on at M.I.T. this weekend you might be interested in.

Grab a coffee and a cruller, it's time for a flavor shot of this week's Interweb offerings in The Scanner.

It doesn't have to be a cruller - it could be a bear claw. I'm just saying grab a snack.

Sit back and relax and let the Internets do the thinking for you - It's time for the Scanner.

This is what it's all about people - The Scanner. We all spend entirely too much time on the interwebs and want to share what we found.

Ain't that sweet?

There's a lot of stuff on the Internet. Luckily some of you spend as much time looking through the good and the bad as I do.

And that's how we end up with The Scanner.

They're coming for you...and they brought The Scanner with them.
(Andy Paradise/Guinness World Records.)