How do Michael Jackson's garage sale, the Large Hadron Collider, the Snuggie and booze "shot guns" all fit together?

In the Scanner of course. He insanity (and inanity) of a week's worth of the Interweb's best.

Was there something going on at Portland High School yesterday?
I drove past there and it looked like the entire city was trying to get in there.

If we have learned nothing from run-down sitcom clichés it's that fat oafish guys end up with hot wives, the jerk best friend always comes through in the end, and parents' attempts at talking about sex with their kids always wind up with hilarious, yet heartwarming results.

It's Thursday, which means it's time for The Scanner - All the Internet, now with 20 percent less spam.

Yeah, you read that right. Girls Gone Wild, as in "reliably-sketchy-
always-getting-sued-for-not-getting-girls'-permission
-to-air-their-drunken-exploits" "Girls Gone Wild."

We’re talking about the big S (and I suppose the big E and the big X) today, which is a topic that always grabs people’s attention. That counts double when you combine the words “sex” and “teens.”