We've got something unique in the new DVD releases pile this week - a movie about journalists! Oh, also, something involving Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway and a wedding dress catfight.

You can only guess how Videoport Jones feels about that.

Bride Wars

Videoport Jones: "Now that Anne Hathaway is a real, Oscar-nominated actress apparently, she will undoubtedly avoid starring in movies like this in the future. Either that, or she'll end up like her costar, and former Oscar-nominated actress Kate Hudson, who seems to leap at every paycheck that comes strung to whatever shrill, lamebrained romantic comedy churned out that week. Remember when Kate Hudson first came to our collective attention? Fresh-faced, adorable, seemingly blessed with mom Goldie Hawn's mix of goofy and soulful (and her amazing set of pipes- remember her duet with Tracey Morgan in that 'Woodrow' sketch on 'SNL?' Stunning), and an Oscar nominated turn in 'Almost Famous!' Bang! Can't miss ticket to Hollywood acting royalty! Instead, her resume reads like that of a tone-deaf money addict: 'Raising Helen', 'How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days', 'My Best Friend's Girl' (alongside the loathsome Dane Cook), 'You, Me, and Dupree', "Alex and Emma'... Man, I can't think of a more negligible track record from someone whom I once publicly praised and secretly lusted after. And, as for Ms. Hathaway, (who also revealed she's got the pipes at the Oscars), well, she paid her child-star dues, revealed herself to be of unguessed-of talent with 'Rachel Getting Married'...I suggest she keep as far away from K.H. as possible before she catches whatever she's got. Oh, this movie's about some shrill, superficial harpies who get all mad when their weddings fall on the same day, in case you were wondering."

Justin: "'Tone-deaf money addict?' Wow. Ouch, just, ouch. I don't think I have a good defense for Kate Hudson at this point, especially when you laid out here resume like a prosecutor going for the conviction. I think the thing that is most damning about that list is that it seems to get worse with each new turn, finally ending up at 'Bride Wars.' Some of those movies can be played off as sweet or maybe chick flick material (I know someone who swears 'How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days' is funny.), but 'You, Me and Dupree?' 'My Best Friend's Girl?' I don't know if there is an explanation for that. And as for this, I'm sorry, but this plot just seems damn silly. Not to mention it plays into every crazy misconception and stereotype about women getting married. Not that women don't go a little crazy during the nuptial season, but this is a little over the top. As for La Hathaway, we'll have to hold out hope."

Nothing But the Truth

VPJ: "Remember when the Bush administration (and pres pal Scooter Libby) first outed a CIA operative because her husband was critical of the government's monumentally stupid and immoral policies and then tried to divert attention away from their own illegal and unpatriotic actions by sending the reporter who broke the story to jail for three months for refusing to reveal the source that leaked the fact that the government had compromised one of its own operatives over a petty political point? Do you? I might. And so might the makers of this political thriller which thinly fictionalizes the whole Valerie Plame affair. Studded with stars like Kate Beckinsale, Alan Alda, Matt Dillon, and the always welcome Angela Bassett, and directed by the sadly unsubtle Rod Lurie ('The Contender,' 'The Last Castle,' TV's 'Commander In Chief'), this one's not bad, even though it fails the test of making me angrier than the actual events upon which it is based. Let's ask a professional journalist how he feels, though....Justin?"

JE: "I'm not going to turn this into a rant about the Plame affair, because it's over now. I don't know if my journalistic tendencies will be much help in this case, mostly because they took the bones of the Plame case and made it into something a little different. Also, it should be said that casting the protagonist in the mold of Judith Miller (the former New York Times reporter) is sketchy at best since, well, Miller was sketchy, at best. The whole situation, from the motivations, to the players involved (with the exception of Tim Russert and my good buddy Matthew Cooper, naturally) was just messy. And let me add, just for good measure, that films about journalists and journalism don't always hit the mark. That said, this looks like an interesting little film that looks at a pretty serious First Amendment issue, not to mention something dear to the heart of many journalists - the fear of going to jail to protect a source. It's as unique a situation as you'll run into in American culture, the idea of protecting a whistle blower (and the journalists who help them) against the people they blew the whistle. That gets even stickier when you're talking about the government. So yes, if you are into political intriue, journalism ethics and like David Schwimmer, then this is the movie for you."

The Uninvited

VPJ: "Before you join me in blowing raspberries at yet another PG-13 rated 'horror' movie, why don't we calm down and look at some reasons why this tale of a girl, recently released from a mental hospital, and trying to find out what exactly happened to her dead mom, might actually be worth a look. We can lay aside our cynicism for just once, can't we? There's the ever-reassuring presence of David Strathairn and the ever-dishy Elizabeth Banks as the girl's distant dad and outwardly-friendly new stepmom to consider. Plus, it was made by a pair of British directing brothers (Charles and Thomas Guard), and brother director teams are usually good news (think the Pangs, the Polishes, and, of course, the Coens). And, hey, a couple of decent reviews. And it's not a remake of a far-superior Asian horror film. Which is nice..."

JE: "No, no, NO! I don't accept that. What happened to the Jonesy I knew who shot first and asked questions later? The man who had no time for what 'looks promising?' The man whose sense for Horror is so fine tuned he'd probably chew out Vincent Price's ghost for not haunting correctly? You're not the man I know, the one who doesn't have the time of day for lame, uninspired domestic horror. I don't care if the awesome David Strathairn is on board or Ms. Banks - I prefer the former for his drama chops and the latter for her comedic sense. And when it comes to family acting tandems, let me just say this one word: Wachowskis."

Martyrs

VPJ: "Now this is your granddaddy's horror! From the world's current psychotically-hyperviolent horror capital, France (see 'Inside', 'Frontier(s)', and the frankly overrated 'High Tension' for more evidence), comes this Gallic gorefest about two girls who embark on an appropriately bloody murder spree in order to avenge their past abuses. Or do they? Whichever, the film comes loaded down with some seriously drool-y reviews from 'Fangoria' and the like, the promise of some truly shocking and inventive twists amidst the grue, a self-promoting warning from the director himself not to watch the film (nice try Pierre), and the panting, 'think of the children!' warnings of moral crusaders everywhere. And, unlike the current spate of (American), sequel-friendly torture porn, the aforementioned Fronchy fright films seem to have a little more going on upstirs than cynical box office. I'm in..."

JE: "See, that's what I'm talking about. That's the man who loves him some corn-syrup splattered gorefests. And as always when it comes to the axes and hatchets and chainsaws and the whatnot...I'll be looking in the other direction. Not my scene."

JCVD

VPJ: "I am excited at the prospect of seeing a Jean Claude Van Damme film. No, Justin, put down the net - I realize that I gave you permission to have me committed should that exact sentence ever come out of my mouth, but I claim an exemption in this case. The evidence: the titular initials are Van Damme's of course, and this is his weird, self-reflexive response to the plummeting trajectory of his own career and life, and a cheeky, and shrewd, bit of self-parody. In JCVD, JCVD plays, well, JCVD, a formerly-popular action star now broke, facing tax problems and a nasty custody hearing, and, perhaps most embarrassing of all, the sad fact that his last twenty of so films have gone direct to DVD. In the midst of all this, JCVD finds himself at the center of a bank hostage situation which seems to call for his formerly-vaunted martial arts skills to resolve. Now, I've never been remotely fond of Van Damme, either as a movie star, professional kicker, or actor (as MST3k's Mike Nelson points out, it's hard to take a guy seriously when he pronounced 'world peace' like 'warrold piss') but this one garnered some surprisingly-laudatory reviews, and the premise intrigues. So Justin, the net...away please..."

JE: "This time Jonesy. This time. I am always up for self-deprecating humor, and any actor that is willing to take a shot at their celebrity, gets a gold star in my book. Of course in the case of Van Damme, it helps that he's almost completely fallen off the radar. But this is the man that brought us such lazy Saturday afternoon hits like 'Sudden Death,' 'Timecop,' 'Hard Target,' and one of my all time favorites, 'Bloodsport.' (KUMITE!) Who knows if there is a second life for the Van Damme's, Steven Seagal's and Dolph Lundgren's of the world (please, don't let it be music careers. Then again...). But I think taking shots at the arc of your career and the choices you made is a good call. And yes, if it's a chance to again hear him butcher parts of the English language, then yes, I'll be renting 'JCVD' very soon."

Hotel for Dogs

VPJ: "Don Cheadle is in this 'Julia Roberts' niece saves the puppies' movie. That doesn't mean I'm ever gonna see it, but I'm happy that the Chead won't have to worry about paying for his kids' college tuition."

JE: "Kids find strays on the street, kids find abandoned old hotel, wacky hijinks ensure until, let me guess, the code enforcement officer shuts them down? The housing department? I'm sure this one is acceptable for the lil' ones. And it exposes them to the Chead, so that's good."

What Doesn't Kill You

VPJ: "Makes you stranger? Nope, that was the Joker's line. Well, it does something, that's for sure, and perhaps by watching this South Boston-set crime thriller about two childhood friends and Massholes, played by the cool Mark Ruffalo and the sometimes-cool Ethan Hawke will answer your questions."

JE: "We seem to have suffered through a spate of 'growing up on the rough side of the tracks leads to a life of crime' movies lately. Was this all kicked off by 'The Departed?' Not entirely sure where this one is going, but it's another love letter to finer points of living in Southie. Do Damon and Affleck get royalties for something like this?"

Parting Shots:

- What was the last good Kate Hudson movie you saw?
- How do you feel about movies about the Press?
- Your favorite Van Damme film and why?

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