Press Play is a day late and I can assure you it's not an elaborate April Fool's joke. In fact, I can assure you this blog will be partaking in no April Fool's jokes. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the Interwebs (where everything is already slightly less than trustworthy at times) has turned April 1 pranks into a deceptive and sophisticated art. I want no part of that.

ANYWAY, Videoport Jones is here as always to help sort out the good, the bad and the bizarre in this week's new DVD releases.

Slumdog Millionaire

Videoport Jones: "Maybe you've heard of this. This year's Cinderella-brand Oscar winner feelgood story a go-go, Slumdog gets points for coming out of nowhere to shock the world (and best a, let's face it, pretty weak Best Picture crop), and for bringing some notoriety to solid director Danny Boyle, Bollywood, and the poor, but cute, of India. Which is nice. As is the movie (even though it does have some wrenching stuff along the way to the fairy tale ending. Will it age well? Well, most Oscar winners don't really, and the whole central conceit, hinging as it does on a silly, already-past-its-already-marginal-cultural-relevance game show doesn't bode particularly well for its legacy. But, hey, nothing I saw is gonna keep you guys from renting what is a perfectly serviceable little inspirational film."

Justin: "Watch as Jonesy backhand compliments his way into America's hearts. You said it yourself friend, there ain't much that is going to dissuade people from seeing this movie, shortcomings or no. It's got the Oscar shine all over it and by most accounts it's a movie that makes you feel OK about being alive. Sure you may have qualms about Boyle's treatment of Bollywood, or, as you point out, the touchstone of a game show that has already faded from our collective memory."

Marley & Me

VPJ: "Lookatthepuppy! Look at 'im! Look at 'im! Look at 'im! Awwwwwwwwww..... Ahem. Well, puppies are cute, so sue me. And so are Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston as the titular snoogums' poochie-snugglin' owners. You've got laughs, poopy jokes, and some surprisingly affecting emotional scenes. Again, what could I possibly say to keep you people from renting this very popular film about the loving family of a rascally puppy. And again, I wouldn't try. I'm not completely heartless over here. LOOK AT THE PUPPY!"

JE: "Fine, then I'll be the hearless bastard on this occasion. I don't want to blow the ending here, but if you love your dog or enjoy your family pet's little quirks...don't see this movie. Yes it's got Owen Wilson and the always adorable (but strangely relationship toxic) Jennifer Aniston, and a cute puppy that becomes a wovable rambunctious dog. But please, please proceed with caution. If you've read the book you know where this thing is going. Maybe I've just got a soft spot for dogs, but there are some things I don't want to experience on film. I'll rewatch 'Brian's Song' before seeing this."

Seven Pounds

VPJ: "Having not seen this enigmatic Will Smith vehicle, I can only rely on the trailer and whatever scuttlebutt I could pick up around the Videoport shelves to fill out this woefully slipshod review. Will is a mysterious guy in a dour suit. He seems to have a pet jellyfish. I think there's some sort of 'The Millionaire'-type secret benefactor plan involved. Rosario Dawson is very pretty. And again, whatever I say here, there's no way this one isn't gonna just fly out the Videoport doors (preferably after being properly paid for). People just love Will Smith. I love Will Smith. Maybe even more than puppies..."

JE: "Combine the two - Will Smith AND puppies - and we'll be FREAKIN' RICH!! We can bankroll as many Joss Whedon projects as we want with that kind of dough! THINK ABOUT IT! Can we throw in a cute kid? Is Dakota Fanning available? Is she still considered cute? ANYWAY, as to 'Seven Pounds,' I have a feeling that if you enjoyed (and were moved by) 'The Pursuit of Happiness,' then you will be won over by this extremely mysterious flick. My guess? He has a terrible secret, a burden, that can only be undone by selflessly serving others...and being handsome while doing it. But seriously though...this Big Willie/Cute Puppy idea is GOLD man..."

Tell No One

VPJ: "Good-looking French thriller about a doctor, widowed eight years ago when a serial killer beat him and killed his wife, who suddenly finds himself a suspect in some new killings and one shocked doc when he receives an emailed photo of his wife....seemingly alive! Dum-dum-dummmmmmm. Great reviews, cool premise. I'm in."

JE: "Are you just saying that because it's French, or because it looks good? This sounds like something that Kevin Bacon would be involved in if it was a domestic film. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we've been down the 'wrongly accused for crimes he didn't commit' road before. But I defer to your better judgment my friend. Let me ask...is the wife the killer?"

Timecrimes

VPJ: "Who's up for some mind-bending? Well, I've got two words for you, mon ami: time travel! This ingenious Spanish thriller follows a complacent lump of a guy who spies something weird in the trees near his new home, goes to check it out, and finds himself ensnared in one of those head-spinning, logic-scrambling, paradox-slinging pickles you get into when somebody starts mucking about with a time machine. Like the similar, and similarly-excellent 'Primer,' this is a clever, streamlined little movie that's just all-out determined to make you watch it seven or eight times (and maybe form a discussion group with some friends) in order to try and suss out just what the freak happened. Me, I fully accept that I don't have the sort of diabolically-clever logical faculties to wrap my noodle around it in its entirety, so I just sat back and enjoyed. Plus, as with most time-travel mumbo-jumbo, eventually the only answer to the myriad unanswerable questions is 'because it's time travel.' I like to say it in the same tone as the guy told Jake Gittes, 'Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown...'"

JE: "I think you stumbled on a new time travel paradox. That 'because it's time travel' idea seems to cover a lot of movies. How else can you explain that in some instances of time travel you CANNOT meet yourself, but in others it's no problem? And how come there is no final ruling on this whole 'grandfather clause' in time travel - the idea that if you go back and meet your grandfather you potentially screw up the chances of you being born. It's so confusing. And yet we all love time travel movies (except 'The Butterfly Effect.' No one mention that. Ever.). Gripes aside, I've seen plenty of previews about this one, and it seems to have a more grimy, mind-screwing bent to it, and that might not be such a bad thing. Not that there's anything wrong with an old fashion spin in the Delorean. I'm always up for that."

Special

VPJ: "Ever wake up one day and think you've got superpowers? No...no, me neither, of course. I was just checkin'. Well, in this neat little indie, professional lunk Michael Rappaport does just that, deciding, after an accident, that he has developed a wide array of special abilities. It's a nice mix of fairly broad comedy (as the guy stumbles through his life as a deluded, decidedly powerless 'superhero') and affecting character study with a nice little performance from Rappaport."

JE: "First off, how can anyone not like Rappaport? The guy has put in serious platoon work over the years in plenty of comedies and dramas, each time a solid performance, and yet he's always under the radar. So you'll excuse me if I gush on this flick I have yet to see. Go rent it. Ahem, that is to say, this looks like a film that toys around with that perception vs. reality theme that gets done with varying degrees of success in movies. In this case it's the idea of what would it mean to have powers or really just wanting to be special. Is there anything wrong with that? Who knows. But I do know that if this was a Charlie Kaufman film Rappaport would be played by Jared Leto and your mind would be blown from the minute you press play. So consider that."

Ricky Gervais: Out of England

VPJ: "It's hard to review a standup comedy special except to say, 'boy is this funny' if it's funny. Well, this is a stand-up special from the comedy genius behind the original 'The Office' and 'Extras' and, 'boy is it funny.' What else could you need to know?"

JE: "How about this: 'You like to laugh don't you? So what are you waiting for?' Let's put aside the whole 'If you know who Ricky Gervais is, you're more than likely already going to rent this,' argument and ask, how do you get people who are not up on Gervais' talents to watch this special? The only reason I ask is that I've discovered something strange in recent years - some people see British accents as a barrier to Brit TV and especially British comedy. Think about that...no Gervais, no Hugh Laurie, no Eddie Izzard. That's not a world I want to live in. Rent this."

Before departing, consider the folllowing:

- Slumdog: Overrated? Underrated (is that possible?)? Mind-blowing? Predictable plot?
- Marley and Me: Is Justin overreacting? Did you like the movie or the book?
- Are there too many rules around Time Travel movies? Does there need to be a standard?

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