What's new on the shelves of your favorite movie store? Excellent question. How about a little Hugh Jackman, some kung fu and a talking chihuahua.

As always Videoport Jones is here to guide us.

Australia

Videoport Jones: "Director Baz Luhrman's epic romance attempts to encompass the sprawling, brawling, Aboriginal-murdering, shrimp-on-the-barbie-ing history of his country and the heaving, jodhpured bosoms of Nicole Kidman and the strapping, snaggly leatheriness of everybody's favorite Oscar Host Hugh Jackman; did he succeed? Will Nicole allow her porcelain mannequin face to show any emotion? Will Hugh break out into a surprisingly foppish musical number? Is it a good thing that Bryan Brown is back on movie screens? Will Yahoo Serious make an appearance? Is making fun of Australia still funny? Tune in and see... Me, well, I am on the rabbit-proof fence about this one; I like Jackman (but who doesn't, apart from 'Scrubs' Dr. Cox), and, from the previews, it looks like Hugh'll have no shortage of chances to look cool (look, Hugh's riding a horse in the sunset! Oh look, Hugh's in a bare-knuckle brawl! Whoa, Hugh's smooching a barely-animated Nicole Kidman!), but I don't know if that's enough."

Justin: "You sir, get big points for the Aussie riffs, especially without bringing up Paul Hogan or Crowded House. Was it just me or did anyone else think they were going to be walking into a film adaptation of a James Michener novel? Sprawling, dramatic, weepy...boring? Maybe that's not fair, but what else am I supposed to take away from this one. You watch the trailers, read up on it and you get the sense Luhrman wanted to combine westerns, war movies and period romance all in one big hot epic mess. Again, maybe that's not fair, but really, what's the draw of this movie other than The Jackman? That man can tap dance into my heart any day."

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

VPJ: "Please allow me to rant for a moment. First: no, no I haven't seen this movie. I never will. It's called 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua.' It actually looks worse than 'Beverly Hills Ninja.' Second: fellas, if you're going to turn the thinly-veiled tale of Paris Hilton's glamour pet into a talking animal movie, please spend some money on the CGI lip movements. I mean, Babe was a long time ago, and they showed that, if you actually care about your film, your audience, or your artistic soul, you could make that process look halfway convincing and not like a half-assed TV commercial. Third: when your spoiled little doggie gets lost in Mexico, howsabout not having all of the dogs, rats, and, well, other Mexican dogs voiced by essentially every decent Hispanic actor in Hollywood. Edward James Olmos, Cheech Marin, George Lopez, Andy Garcia- it's like some racist executive got out his 'Spanish-y actors' rolodex and imagined ways to degrade them. Fourth: on IMDb. com, the film is currently riding a 2.6 (out of 10) rating, which means the world isn't coming to an end just yet, but fully 12.4 percent of those people voting for the film gave it a '10', indicating that it is one of the greatest films they have ever seen. I want to meet these people, or at least observe them safely from behind two-way glass and listen to what they talk about; I think that would really clear some things up for me."

JE: "Or it could cause you to try and eat your brain. Don't go near them Jonesy. Just don't. I feel like we've been down this road before, but here we go again: why bother making a half-attempt at a kids/family movie? Do producers and movie executives really think so little of the market that they can parade anything in front of them and they'll buy it? (Well at least 12.4 percent do. Let's hope it never gets to 17 percent...that's the armageddon threshold.) Also, having not seen the movie, isn't playing up the whole "chihuahua as a wise-crackin' Mexican" thing played out? I'm not ready to go as far as you and call it racist, but I feel like it's the borderline. How come chihuahuas are the only dogs that get ethnicized? And if you're going to go on record as saying this could possibly be worse than 'Beverly Hills Ninja,' then perhaps we've already crossed the armageddon threshold. I'm scared, Jonesy."

I've Loved You So Long

VPJ: "Most of the time, when I see film stills or, more rarely, actual film of Kristin Scott Thomas, I am filled with indifference, with just a smidge of annoyance. I didn't like 'The English Patient,' largely (but not entirely, I must confess) because of her pinched, bloodless performance (why the focus wasn't on Naveen Andrews and Juliette Binoche instead of mannered stick insects Thomas and Ralph Fiennes...well, that's the book's fault, I guess), and I, looking at her filmography just now....yep, don't like her work in literally anything I've ever seen her in. So, one might excuse me for wanting to take a pass on this French drama where she plays a woman, just released from prison, who comes to stay with her estranged sister's family. But then I looked at the poster, and there she is, washed out, and tired and sad looking, and darned if I'm not intrigued enough to give the film a chance. Thomas, who speaks fluent French, is also getting some great reviews from some people I actually respect so maybe I'll give her just one...more...try."

JE: "Wait...wasn't this the plot of 'Rachel Getting Married?' Just swap out rehab for prison, and take out the subtitles? As for Ms. Scott Thomas (or would you prefer just Thomas?), I think I'm right with you on the indifference scale. Not so much annoyance though. Either she ends up cast as the cold, removed and 'bloodless' (as you put it) Brit a lot, or she doesn't have that many gears in the box. Let's run down the list: 'The English Patient,' 'Four Weddings and a Funeral,' 'The Horse Whisperer,' I'm having trouble staying awake just listing those movies. Yikes. Also, I always knew you do have kindness in you. There's still hope."

Ashes of Time Redux

VPJ: "Okay, here's the deal. In 1996, Hong Kong auteur Wong Kar-Wai made this sprawling, epic martial-arts flick, populated with his stable of brilliant actors (Tony Leung, Leslie Cheung, Maggie [no relation] Cheung, Brigitte Lin), turning the standard clichés of the chop-socky genre askew with his trademark blend of enigmatic characters, poetic obsessions, fluid camerawork and just plain greatness. And it never got a US release. So, after wowing film geeks (like me, duh) with such modern classics as 'In the Mood for Love,' its sequel '2046,' 'Fallen Angels,' 'Happy Together,' and 'Chungking Express' among others, he decided to go back, reedit the thing and send it back out in the world. Sure, nobody went to see it, but at least this time we in America had the opportunity to show our ignorance by ignoring it. I love Wong Kar-Wai, by the way..."

JE: "Period-y kung fu goodness? Sign me up friend. Seriously though, as I understand it this one has all the markings of a classic story: heartbroken hero, swordplay and assassins. That's pretty much all I need."

In the Electric Mist

VPJ: "If a hard-boiled, New Orleans-set detective thriller, based on a popular series of novels, and starring the likes of Tommy Lee Jones, John Goodman, Peter Sarsgard, Ned Beatty, and Kelley MacDonald, and directed by noted French director Bernard Tavernier comes out, and you've never heard of it, and it goes right to DVD, well...that can't be a good thing, right?"

JE: "You were building up there for a while. It was a big tease. You see that cast and start saying,'Yeah, OK, I like that guy, oh, he's good too...' and then boom, drop the hammer. Straight to DVD? Ouch. I know how much you loathe straight to DVD, but this one sounds like it deserved to have a life on the big screen. Ned Beatty demands it! As I understand this one it's about a detective on the trail of a string of murders...that possibly involves some supernatural shenanigans. So, OK, maybe its not easily slapped into a certain genre. But really...think of Ned Beatty. Who doesn't like Ned Beatty?"

Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic

VPJ: "Weird little idea this: Dave Gibbons, the artist for the original 'Watchmen' graphic novel, oversaw this illustrated, minimally-animated, narrated five-hour version of the comics classic. It's a neat little tour through the brilliant, shocking, groundbreaking comic created by Gibbons and writer Alan Moore, right in time to set the record straight when the big-budget, shaky-looking film messes it up."

JE: "Ouch. Already placing our bets on Mr. Snyder's rendition of this classic I see. I'll reserve judgment, but if thing goes belly-up Snyder better hope Dr. Manhattan can protect him from the geek outage. As for this effort, call me interested. One of the things I always struggled with in adapting this sprawling, awesome (in the literal sense) story is that it's so...well, big, so how do you constrain it to a 2-3 hour movie? I always thought a mini-series would be better, so this may fulfill those dreams. Maybe."

Before you go, consider these parting shots:

- Hugh Jackman - Overrated or man of many hats (and dances)?
- What do you think makes for a good kids/family movie? Favorites?
- Do you have any interest in seeing 'Watchmen?'

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