When you flip the on switch to The Scanner each week it's impossible to know what you're going to get. How else could we end up with legislators trying Cocaine, a Twitter War, gold parties and ethical questions on porn?

The answer is meh.*

(*Why "Meh?" See below.)

Consider this - Maybe the reason the new topless doughnut shop is so hot is is because the old one is closed? Supply and Demand. [Portland Psst]

Everyone's favorite pizza-eating ninjas the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turn 25 this year. Interesting tidbit: I once heard a rumor that "Turtles" creator Kevin Eastman still lives in Maine. Anyone able to confirm that, because I would be all over that interview.

So if you've been following this whole Gov. Bobby Jindal sounds like Kenneth The Page on "30 Rock," then you may be interested in Jack McBrayer's response to the response.

The New York Times Magazine's Ethicist answers an interesting dilemma - How do you tell a friend a sex tape of them is on the Internets? Awwwwwkward.

The Oklahoma state legislature is going to try Cocaine in order to try and ban it. The energy drink, that is. [Consumerist]

Did you know that gold selling parties are the new Tupperware party?

When we upgrade the war room in the sub-basement of Press Herald Plaza, I plan to lobby for this lighting inspired by "Dr. Strangelove." [Gizmodo]

*He's an expert so it's hard to disagree with him: John Hodgman on the use of "Meh." Discuss. [Waxy]

Get your spandex ready, ladies (and fellas): Beyonce is holding a "Single Ladies" video contest. [New TeeVee]

Amazon's Kindle 2 was released this week. Crunch Gear has 10 reasons to buy and 10 reasons not to buy the new Kindle.

Microsoft is looking into new ways for people to interact with smaller and smaller tech devices, or as Bit's calls it The Fight Against Fat Fingers. [Bits]

Simple question, not so simple answer: Why Do People Use Twitter? [Valleywag]

Yes, 3M does have Nuclear Grade Duct Tape. [Geekologie]

Hayden Christensen has been inserted into old episodes of The OC. Wait...what? [Best Week Ever]

Here's another list of bizarre album covers. My favorite? Possibly "Mike Crain: Karate Preacher." How soon till I can pitch this to CBS? [Urlesque]

This week's graphic breakout: A chart that shows taste in music based on SAT score. Uh-oh.

More charts - See if you can make sense of this periodic table of social media elements.

It's about time someone thought of a Guitar Hero-esque game for DJs. [Urb]

Comic geeks take notice: a Watchmen inspired Pac-Man T-shirt. Who Pacs the Pacmen? Indeed.

Also, oddly, on the subject of Pac-Man, consider this artwork, which asks, "What if Pac-Man Lost?"

Tired of the Snuggie? Want something more distinct? Why not the Pantalaine Couch Dress?

Some of the best news this week? Andy Richter is rejoining Conan on the new Tonight Show. I am now officially excited.

Pop battles can be a messy thing. Snuggie vs. Slanket. But now Michael Ian Black and Levar Burton are fighting on Twitter. Follow the #LeWar through Twitter Search. [Popwatch]

The headline says it all: "AT-AT Walker Boombox is So Awesome I Want to Cry." Yes. Yes it is. [Gizmodo]

Lastly, how tough is the economy? This guy decided to submit a drawing of a spider in the place of a $233 overdue payment. [Geekologie]

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