Been busy working on a side-project lately that some of you may already know about it. We'll talk about it more tomorrow. But in the meantime, let The Scanner ease your overburdened mind. Let the bounty of the Internets wash over you.

Hilly Town reports on the opening of Papya King in Portland. Your search for good, late-night hot dogs is over.

Portland PSSST spies this tirade against Coffee By Design on CraigsList.

The Portland Food Map finds a growing number of restaurants signing up for RestaurantWeekME

INCOMING: A day for bacon? Try Masterbacon in Seattle this weekend.

An idea that is trying to get pushed up to the new president? Forgiving student loans to help stimulate the economy. Hmmmm. (Thanks to Alex)

The headlines says it all: "Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay."

I could have sworn professor Farnsworth (of Futurama fame) already created this, but apparently the Maine Department of Environmental Protection is using smell-o-scopes to gauge stink levels around the state.

Oh wow. College applicants, your fate can be decided on something as simple as food poisoning.

You better believe Overheard in the Newsroom is now on my must-read list.

Because really, the Obama merch was not already out of control, now you can get the Obamabar, a bar of soap that I'm sure imbues the wearer with the powers of the president-elect. Or at least makes them smell good. (Pay attention hippies.)

Also speaking of the president-in-waiting, we have more speculation on the new administration. No, not cabinet positions, but the name of the new Obama-pup. Hopey the Change Dog?

The world's youngest correspondent partners with Dwayne Wade to offer this challenge:Give the kid a one-on-one interview and you can play against Wade. [The E&P Pub]

Beware the...inflatable bag monster? Wha?

A toy that makes your kid think they are training to be a Jedi? Only $100. [Io9]

Karl Rove...is on Twitter.

Will Ferrell's next venture is a broadway show: "You're Welcome America: A Final Night with George W. Bush" I think the appropriate response is "Awesome".

In more Twitter news people are apparently proposing over Twitter now? Really? Nothing says I love you like a 140 character burst. [Urlesque]

ZOMBIE OUTBREAK at the University of Washington! Or, at least, a game of zombies vs. humans. That's different. [The Big Blog]

Oh THANK YOU nerds! Someone reimagined "The Dark Knight" as an 8-bit video game for the original Nintendo. [Slog]

Believe it: A girl actually sent more than 14,000 text messages in one month. [Geekologie]

Steve Carell has bought a general store in Marshfield, Mass. Carry on.

And on a sad note, Ricardo Montalbon died. In his honor, I offer this clip of his classic showdown with William "The Shat" Shatner.

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