Stoners with guns! Former greats collecting a paycheck with guns! And Nic Cage...who regularly has a gun in his dramatic features.

All in today's line-up of new DVD releases, and all fair game for Videoport Jones.

Pineapple Express

Videoport Jones: "Sometimes an odd, seemingly incongruous movie pairing turns out like a slice of fried gold. First, you've got former 'Freaks and Geeks' stars-turned-movie-stars Seth Rogen and James Franco. Second, throw in the unlikely choice of director, indie auteur David Gordon Green ('All the Real Girls', 'George Washington', 'Snow Angels', 'Undertow') to helm this seemingly-beneath-his-notice stoner comedy. And it works like gangbusters. Wedding the Apatow comedy machine to the indie underground produces one of the most uniquely satisfying action comedies in years."

Justin: "Unique is definitely right. I can't say I've ever seen a movie quite like this. It's like someone meshed together '48 Hours' with 'Half-Baked.' Aside from getting the required attention for starring Rogen and Franco, this one got a lot of notice because critics seemed to love calling it a 'stoner action movie.' It seemed like a lazy way of saying 'I think I should like this movie, but I'm not sure I want to give it a pass.' Still, I get where they are coming from and 'Pineapple Express' has a weird combination of explosions, car chases, fist fights and weed jokes that somehow works. Also, the underrated Gary Cole, which in my book is always a plus."

Righteous Kill

VPJ: "It was nice of Misters DeNiro and Pacino to make the worst movie of each of their illustrious careers at the same time so that I could get doubly depressed. Sure, DeNiro's been in has-been freefall for about twenty years (I would list his cinematic crimes here, but I don't have the heart), and Pacino actually made a movie in the same year that was actually worse than '88 Minutes' (the most recent 'worst movie he's ever made'). This ludicrous, convoluted-yet-obvious cop thriller allows - nay encourages - these two once fine actors to indulge in their worst habits and excesses. (Okay Mr. DeNiro, frown and mumble. Great! And Mr. Pacino, howsabout an unexpectedly hammy catch phrase here! Solid!) An utter embarassment seemingly designed to make everyone forget 'Godfather 2' ever happened."

JE: "Ouch. Just ouch. You would think someone at some point would have just put a stop on this thing. That someone would have realized that everyone was in such a rush to get something out with DeNiro and Pacino side-by-side that they didn't know they were committing to a colossal mistake. This just seems like a trainwreck. A bad plot, bad script and bad performances to wash it out. Maybe there is a script or a director out there who could milk solid performances out of these two for one last time, but it's tough to see. I guess we'll all have to fall back on their one scene together in 'Heat.' Sad."

The Wackness

VPJ: "Ben Kingsley, on the other hand, seems to be having a lot of adventurous fun in his later years. Sure, that occasionally leads him to take Uwe Boll's phone calls, but it also allows this legendary thespian the opportunity to throw on an accent, some weird hair, and let 'er rip. In movies like 'You Kill Me' and 'Sexy Beast' he was a little hammy, but ultimately riveting and here, as the eccentric, ganja smoking therapist of a young dude going through one of those comings-of-age that indie filmmakers like so much, he again steals the show. And while I question the premise that we need to be nostalgic about the mid-nineties already, Kingsley makes this one worth a watch."

JE: "Yes, yes we do. I wanted to see this one for the soundtrack alone, so yes, let's be nostalgic for the time of parachute pants, 'News Radio,' and Digable Planets. Sadly - once again - this one came and went so fast from screens around here that I barely had a chance for it to register. Seriously, it was at The Movies for a minute. (And don't get me started on that impending move) Even if 'coming-of-age-parents-don't-understand-finding-who-you-are' stories have been done and done well before, this one looks like a solid rent."

Disaster Movie

VPJ: "Jason Friedberg. Aaron Seltzer. Learn those names. And, if you see them scrawled on an movie poster, immediately run the other way. The 'creators' of 'comedies' like 'Date Movie', 'Meet the Spartans' and 'Epic Movie' return with yet another 'worst comedy ever'. (They keep topping themselves. Or bottoming...that makes more sense). Their idea of comedy is to have someone dressed as someone famous wander into frame, repeat that person's catchphrase or enact his/her 'newsworthy' incident, and then move on. I know the chumbuckets of cash these two comedy antichrists get effectively insulate them from criticism, but THAT IS NOT A JOKE! Think I'm kidding about this? Then subject yourself to one of these. Jesus. I genuinely think that anyone who actually finds this lowest-common-denominator third grader humor funny (who is not, actually, in the third grade) should be observed, for the betterment of society and themselves. They might get their head caught in a banister at any moment."

JE: "Sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was walking down the stairs and my head got stuck...uh, never mind. JONESY, you are clearly overlooking the prerequisite and gratuitous hot chicks. Slap Carmen Electra in the cast and you've got a mover. I'm not going to belabor the point here, because we're on the same page. I can't even make my catch phrase of 'well, it may appeal to someone,' that I normally roll out about now. It's just crap, I'm sorry. There's a place for 'dumb comedies' but I think these are turning into a sad indictment on our culture. Was that too much?"

Bangkok Dangerous

VPJ: "Nicolas Cage. Why, buddy? You're talented. Won an Oscar, as I recall. But why, again, have you strapped yourself into a bad hairpiece and prostituted yourself in a half-baked action movie? Dude, I am pulling for you, I am, but if I never have to type the phrase 'a pale remake of the Asian original' again, I'd be very happy. Thanks, big guy."

JE: "I'm an ambivalent Nic Cage fan at best. He makes a good turn, wonderful. He does a crap job, well, you get what you pay for. The thing is though, I feel like I can't blame him. I'd put him in the same category of actor as Samuel L. Jackson - they just keep pumping out movies and don't stop to look at the results. He tries hard, but sometimes it just doesn't work. I'm sure he wanted 'Ghost Rider' to work, but, well, look at that. Just once, ONCE, though, I would like to hear you say a remake of an Asian cinema original is good. I'll hold out hope."

Babylon A.D.

VPJ: "Vin Diesel stars. Next. (But I kid the mumbly, musclebound freak). I dunno, I sort of like big V.D. (as I'm sure he likes to be known); check out the little seen, Sidney Lumet-directed courtroom dramedy 'Find Me Guilty' to see that the lug can actually act, and have charisma, and everything. But this near-future dystopian action thingy is just a loud, meandering mess."

JE: "Was it just me or did anyone else get the feeling The Diesel had already made this movie. Seriously, every time I saw a trailer, commercial, etc., I had this deja vu feeling that I had already seen him wielding ridiculous weaponry, stopping hordes of assassins and saving young girls. Typecast much?"

Final thoughts:

- Are we seeing just the beginning of the "action-stoner" film genre?
- Is there any hope of getting a good performance out of Pacino or DeNiro ever again?
- Who deserves another shot on film, Vin Diesel or Nic Cage?

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