Take a break already! New movies are on the shelves, so what better way to relax than catching up with a few old favorites like Indiana Jones or Homer Simpson?

As always Videoport Jones is here to cut through the bad and get to the good.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Videoport Jones: "Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas team up again to bring Indy back out of mothballs and the result is, well, I'll just say fine. There's really nothing wrong with this fourth installment (although a certain, particularly-improbable stunt has caused the phrase 'nuke the fridge' to overtake 'jump the shark' as a euphemism for losing one's way, artistically), except for the obvious. Ford's in impressive fighting trim, and much more watchable as Indy than he has been in any movie in a long while, and there are the expected thrills, stunts, and cornpone gags (and a special appearance by the still-dimply-lovely Karen Allen!), and, for what I was expecting, I was reasonably entertained. I know I should be harsher on this one, but, well, it's Indy. You know."

Justin: "Well you and I are in the camp that lets our love of Indy allow for some failings. This movie was not perfect, and I was not a fan of some of the CGI. And let's not pretend that Harrison Ford is not old. The story was not the best, and had a few holes and shortcomings. OK, all of that said...I got no problem with the return of Dr. Jones. I thought it was fun in a way to see an aged Indy trying to do the same old things. The movie breezed along in the adventure-y/romp-y way they always do. What I don't understand is why people got upset about the movie and some just trashed it. To me that seems to miss the point of what the Indy movies always were, simple, mindless fun. I overhead a guy at a bar once say that it ruined Indiana Jones for him. I don't buy that, and frankly think that's silly. I put Indiana Jones on the same pedestal as most young boys in the 80s, but I don't think this was anywhere on the level of childhood memory destruction as Mr. Lucas' other recent efforts. Yikes."

War, Inc.

VPJ: "John and Joan Cusack, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley and some other Hollywood lefties get some frustrations out in this misfired political satire about the US/corporate takeover of a Middle Eastern nation. I'm all for beating the current administration about the face and head (artistically speaking, of course), and I love the cast, but this one is one of those angry-but-too-prosaic broadsides that isn't going to convince anyone of anything they don't already readily, stridently belive in. Points for effort, though."

JE: "So they just did it to get their jollies is what you're saying? Damn liberal pinkos think they can trick people with their Hollywood...uh, trickery. FEH, I say! I got nothing, and probably that's for the best. If you know about this flick already, then you probably are going to rent it, and as Jonesy says, are probably none too happy about the Bush Administration."

Standard Operating Procedure

VPJ: "Now here's some political filmmaking that gets the job done. Best documentarian in the world Errol Morris ['Mr. Death,' 'The Fog of War,' 'Gates of Heaven,' 'Fast, Cheap and Out of Control,' 'The Thin Blue Line,' etc] brings his patented insight into a dissection of the horrific Jack Bauer-esque events that took place in the US-run Abu Ghraib prison (and elsewhere) which, while blamed on the sad, pathetic soldier/torturers alone, were, according to Morris (and me), part of the US policy towards suspected terrorists (since confirmed by various Sith Lords such as Dick Cheney). Again, the US government thinks torture is OK now. Just thought I'd keep repeating that until I get thrown in a cell and beaten up."

JE: "Oh Jonesy, you mean 'thrown into a cell, beaten up, and having a car battery attached to your boy parts' or some such nastiness. I know this because I watch plenty of '24.' Joking aside, I've read a few interviews with Morris over the years, and his attention to detail and realism is almost fanatical. I think that is born out in the fact that in some of his movies he has gone to painstaking lengths to recreate critical events and actions that are part of a story, but may not only exist in documents or other non-movie friendly forms. While it may be hard to revisit the awful events of Abu Ghraib, I'm sure Morris' examination will be thoughtful and ultimately worth the rental."

Mongol

VPJ: "Another guy who had few political boundaries was Ghengis Khan, and this sweeping, violent, epic biopic takes on the wacky conqueror in all his pillaging, sweaty glory. Get your inner warrior on with the director of the excellent 'Prisoner of the Mountains.'"

JE: "I don't understand why this movie seemed to get no traction in the theaters. I remember very minimal advertising, just enough for me to see it a few times and think 'Oh that looks cool,' but not to get enough of a sense that I'd want to pay money to see it. It's bizarre because it seems like a perfect fit for the modern biopic/action-drama. It's about Ghengis Khan and his gang of brutal, conquest-happy warriors. Is it because it wasn't tailored to American audiences? You put Viggo Mortensen in this flick and some pseudo love interest and this one breaks the bank."

The Simpsons - Season 11

VPJ: "Is this the season when the classic series finally started downhill? It's sure the season when the mindless whining of ungrateful 'fans' became intolerably loud, so..."

JE: "Such is the pop culture life cycle, my friend. I got no big beef with the 'The Simpsons.' Do I watch it as regularly and religiously as I did a few years ago? No. Does some of that have to do with the show's stories and writing? Maybe. But I don't watch many things as devotedly as I used to, and those things that I do inevitably clog up the DVR. My point is that while it may not be on the level some people thought it once was (or built it up to in their minds), it's still a pretty consistently funny show. The bigger question - who knew 'King of the Hill' was still on. Seriously."

Stuck

VPJ: "Cult director Stuart Gordon ('Re-Animator') brings on the grue once again in this based-on-a-true-and-unbelievably-icky tale of a young dingbat (appropriately played by Mena Suvari) who hits a homeless guy (the great Stephen Rea) with her car and finds her brilliant hit-and-run plan foiled by the little fact that he's become embedded in her windshield. Gordon's good at making you squirm and you know how I love to squirm..."

JE: "You are your love of The Grue. It is insatiable...and a little scary. Seriously, get help. For you cult movie fans out there this one more than likely already has a green light thanks to one word: 'Re-Animator.' Also the chance to possibly see something awful happen to Mena Suvari is probably a draw for some folks. I am not a lover of Squirm-worthy flicks, so I'll defer to your judgement."

Finally, consider these questions three:

- Did Kingdom of the Crystal Skull devastate any of your childhood memories and why?
- Has "The Simpsons" "nuked the fridge?"

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