Oh sweet Internets, you'll never let us down. You're like the cow that never runs out of milk. Really, really bizarre, sometimes unfortunate, milk.

Uh...that means it's time for The Scanner!

Oh joy! A Bacon Flow Chart to help decide whether you want to eat bacon. (The answer, of course, is yes.)

I feel like a crocheted mustache hat would be very popular in Portland. [Hat tip: Instructables]

Pop Candy has a back-to-school look at some of the best teen/high school TV shows.

OK, I get that you can dock your iPod to many things these days, but isn't an iPod refrigerator a bit much? [Hat tip: Springwise]

One of the top stories of the week? Social networking sites pass "porn" in top search rankings. Has America turned a corner?

Would you believe people are selling real-life "My Little Ponies?" Shudder. [Hat tip: Urlesque]

Sad news - especially for Videoport Jones. Amy Poehler is leaving "Saturday Night Live." This, and she's pregnant? Someone should check on Jonesy by the hour. [Hat tip: The Vulture]

BIZARRE CLIP OF THE WEEK: Someone in NYC captured what appears to be a man attempting to give the business to the front of a Toyota Forerunner. Not for the faint of heart. [Hat tip: Best Week Ever.]

BEST CLIP OF THE WEEK: Someone went through the trouble of compiling every single "That's What She Said" joke from "The Office." And it is glorious.

Washington Post politics reporter Dana Milbank lets the outside world know what its like to be a member of the eastern media elite. Thanks Dana for blowing it for the rest of us.

Russia is trying to do something unthinkable in the U.S. - trying to ban "South Park."

Not sleeping well? Relive those childhood days of comfort and imagine yourself in some adult footy pajamas.

The latest dust up in the McCain/Obama campaigns? Fat Joe vs. Daddy Yankee. Fat Joe - an Obama supporter - has challenged Daddy Yankee - a McCain backer - to a debate.

Apparently Colonel Sanders' fried chicken recipe is akin to the nuclear launch codes.

In "could have seen it coming" news, Will Wright's new videogame "Spore," has come under criticism from anti-evolution groups. [Hat tip: Joystiq]

Also in "could have seen it coming" news, flight attendants are already complaining about people looking up porn using in-flight Internet. They just started testing in-flight Internet last month.

This news is a little old, but still pretty freaking cool - a new "Ghostbusters" movie is in the works! [Hat tip: Pop Machine]

If anyone can tell me what the secret device does please let me know. Let's hope you don't destroy the world in the process.

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