Hot dog eating contests, lobster boat races and Baseketball: Adding new sports to the Olympics
Over the last two weeks the globe has sat together and watched the greatest achievements in sport, found unity through competition and glimpsed a future where the world's most pressing conflicts are resolved with real scores and not imagined ones.
That may be all well and good, but let's get some real sports into the Olympics, eh?
Introducing new sports to the Olympics is not a new concept, after all, I'm sure table tennis and racewalking were not part of the early Greek games.
At the same time, we all know the International Olympic Committee has no problem cutting sports from the games, as baseball and softball are slated to disappear after Beijing (pending an appeal, of course.)
So obviously we need a few more sports for Americans to dominate in (who knows how long before they take away beach volleyball.)
Over at Vulture they've got a wish list of fictional sports the Olympic committee should consider for the games, including:
Quidditch: "Quidditch could prove wildly popular among both fans of the Potter books and fans of watching dudes get hit in the face with Bludgers."
Calvinball (from "Calvin and Hobbes"): "The only static rule of Calvinball is that it can never be played the same way twice. Otherwise, competitors may declare new regulations (out loud or silently to themselves) at any time during a match."
Baseketball*: "A combination of H-O-R-S-E and baseball, this game counts a made free throw as a single, a shot from the top of the key as a double, and a three-pointer as a triple. Since there's no running, the obese are not necessarily at any disadvantage." (* rent this if you have not already done so.)
Finally, sports the rest of us can aspire to compete in. But I think we can do better. If we were looking to add more Americans (which means more Mainers) to the Olympic team in the future, what games should we be adding?
- Hot dog eating contest?
- Lobster boat racing?
- Dodgeball?
- Music Collection Bragathon from the Hipster Olympics?
Fictional Sports - How about adding Nascar to the Olympics. Thats not a real sport!!! ---That's right, I said it! Bring it on your left hand turning rednecks! Ha! - On a side note, wasn't there a movement to bring Chess to the Olympics a few years ago? I'm all for non-athletic competiion being added to the games... Marble, Pinball, Halo3.
Justin is a former newspaper intern and has the scar tissue to prove
it. Justin has been a staff writer for the Portland Press Herald/Maine
Sunday Telegram since 2003, and in 2004 began writing a weekly column in the
Monday Magazine.
If he had to pick a label, the column would fall under "youth culture,"
covering everything from high school dance etiquette, dealing with college
debt, the resurgence of Roller Derby and Portland's one-of-a-kind music
scene. This of course has not stopped him from answering letters to Santa
Claus or writing about his experience riding shotgun in a drift car.
Justin is an export from the Midwest. He is a graduate of the University of
Missouri and is originally from Minnesota. He enjoys bacon, cheap beer,
redheads, Burt Reynolds jokes and wondering what the soundtrack to his life
would sound like.
When he grows up he wants to be an international art thief. Or Captain
America.
Until then he'll be bringing you dispatches about "the young people" and
what they do.
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