Time to play the game - fast paced, and only for the steel-hearted and quick-witted. Press Play: Your guide to this week's new releases in DVDs with movie maverick Videoport Jones!

Rambo

Videoport Jones: "John Rambo is back! And, as is his wont, he's killing everyone on screen with skin somehow darker than his own leathery hippo hide in this third sequel to the actually-not-that-bad 'First Blood.' See, in that movie, as ham-handed as Stallone’s co-written screenplay was, the character of John Rambo was sort of touching in his Incredible Hulk-back-from-Vietnam struggle of a troubled guy who just wants to be left alone. Well, that was three movies ago. Now, Rambo is a 'roided out, mumbling psychopath who, conveniently, finds stereotypical (brown) baddies on whom to practice his patented orgiastic violence every time he turns around. Manoman, is this one violent movie! I mean, I love me some movie violence, but...damn. Oh, but only against brown people, so it’s okay. (Oh, and Stallone didn’t bother to get the name of the country right whose citizens he’s slaughtering: it’s not Burma anymore, big fella, it’s The Union of Myanmar. Jackass...) Look, while I’m fully aware that Myanmar’s government is a seriously f-ed up bastion of human rights violation, well, I’m wacky enough to think that there’s a more constructive solution to that country’s internal struggles than to have some bloated, Soloflexed, HGHed Hollywood dinosaur (who actually fled America rather than stay and have to fight in the war that his fictional counterpart got traumatized by) run around and shoot everyone through the neck with explosive-tipped arrows. 'Angel's' Darla, Julie Benz, is on hand to play the simpering, milky-white Christian missionary that heroic (sort-of) white knight Rambo saves from defilement at the hands of drooling, subhuman, yellow-skinned caricatures. Sorry, but racism is racism, even if you spend fifty million dollars on it. I’m out."

Justin: "I think you just sent an exploding arrow through someone's chest Jonsey. Wowser. But you do raise two very good points, but let me touch on another first - the resurrection of old movie icons. There is a way to do it, and a way not to do it, and there's also a window for it. I think Dr. Jones just got in under that window. The Star Wars prequels, while not the best, got in under that window. Mr. Stallone's franchises? Not so much. Seeing as his flicks 'Rocky' and 'Rambo' are so reliant on youth, strength and other precepts of manly man-ness, it's just embarassing to see him brings these guys back into the conversation. Why not bring back 'Tango & Cash' instead, or 'Oscar,' or maybe even 'Over the Top.' But back to your other points, I think the egregious amount of violence may have been there to cover up the lack of plot, dialogue or general thought behind the movie. Besides Jonsey, we all know it doesn't matter what skin color they are, a bad guy is a bad guy, right? The worst part is probably that Sly that he was being topical and even political with this movie."

Grace Is Gone

VPJ: "John Cusack is back! And I have much nicer things to say about him! In this well-received indie, Big John plays a dumpy, conservative dad who finds out his wife has been killed in Iraq and can't bring himself to tell his two young daughters. So he takes them out of school, takes off on an impulsive road trip to a theme park, and quietly falls apart. Cusack's the man, of course, and this change-of-pace role is a challenge he copes with fine as he keeps up a desperate, manic facade to hide the truth from his two kids and to force himself not to think about what his wife’s death is doing to his right-wing Bush-love. It's a touching performance, aided immeasurably by the two little girl actresses, who do a great job along the way."

JE: "He always does this, doesn't he? Just when you think Cusack (or 'Big John' as you call him. That name makes me think of John Goodman for some reason.) is down for the count and off in some romantic comedy, heart-warming dreck wilderness, he re-emerges just to prove he's still got it. If you look over his filmography you can almost plot it like a graph. Plus its always good to see him stretch and flex for dramatic roles and not the comedic or dour-comedic figures he finds himself playing. You've got major Cusack love so it's no surprise this gets a gold star for you, but I'll give it a nod as well. Sounds like a good rent."

Cassandra's Dream

VPJ: "Woody Allen is back! And the slump continues! After an interesting (but seriously overrated) foray into psychological murder mystery with 'Match Point,' the Woodman (after an unimpressive stop back in schtick-town with the limp 'Scoop') stays in London and ventures back into murky criminal waters with this one. At least he’s brought a couple of really good actors (Ewan MacGregor, Colin Farrell) along as the leads, two brothers who hatch a murderous scheme. I dunno, I continue to respect Woody’s previous work (up until about 1996 anyway), but, well, he’s put out ten movies since then, of which I could stand exactly one ('Sweet and Lowdown') while roundly loathing the rest. Hate to say it, but it might be time to hang 'em up."

JE: "But you know he can't. None of them can, even when it appears the game has passed them by. The thing about Woody's later movies is that they have funny moments that take you back to his earlier work, but nothing strings together, and reminding you of those earlier movies makes you almost immediately think less of the one you are watching. I can't personally say he hasn't had a good movie for as long as you have (I thought 'Celebrity' and 'Small Time Crooks' weren't too bad.). He still has a decent hand as a director, and he'll continue to get the benefit of the doubt because of who he is, which is maybe why his work has continued on this otherwise bland path."

The Flock

VPJ: "Richard Gere is back! And I find myself surprisingly ambivalent about that! In this one, which headed essentially right to DVD, Gere plays a cop who has about as tolerant an attitude towards child molesters as John Rambo does to anyone from the Eastern or Southern hemispheres. All well and good, except he's getting fired for whomping on pedophiles in his custody, so he's got to train doey-eyed ingenue Claire Danes to be his replacement. There’s a missing kid, and I’m sure Gere and Danes circle around some distasteful June-November romance. Directed by Wai-keung Lau who also directed 'Infernal Affairs' which was the basis fro Martin Scorcese's 'The Departed' (the following facts brought to you by the 'desperately trying to find something interesting to say about this film' department)."

JE: "This seems like a strange turn for Mr. Gere, but really what has he been up to lately. Would it be out of line to say he's become slightly irrelevant as an actor? He did that hunting party flick and the one about the fake Howard Hughes biographer, but the fact that I can categorize those flicks so blandly and vaguely should tell you something. Also, this may be a decent film, but I would have a hard time buying the former gigolo/officer & gentleman/Dr. T as a 'YOUR OUT OF LINE!' type of cop."

Cleaner

VPJ: "Samuel L. Jackson is back! Ever heard of this one? No? Well...throw in the fact that it's got added acting attractions like Ed Harris, Robert Forster and Luis Guzman and the fact that it has hitherto remained unknown to us until it settled this week on DVD and, well, that’s probably not a great sign. Sam’s an ex-cop who cleans up crime scenes now and he uncovers...something. I’m sure each of these fine actors tries his best."

JE: "Something tells me you mailing it in with this review is probably emblematic of the performances in this one. With guys like Ed Harris and Robert Forster alongside Sam Jackson, you would think this movie would have gotten better play. Apparently not. The thing is Mr. Jackson goes through films like most people go through paper towels, so its hard to blame him - even if he does give the same performance some of the time, he's still just so damn cool."

The Walker

VPJ:"See previous review for the exact same misgivings, substituting the usually-illustrious names of Woody Harrelson, Lauren Bacall, Kristin Scott Thomas, Willem Dafoe, Ned Beatty, and Lily Tomlin. Woody stars as a male escort who caters to Washington DC society dames and becomes involved in a murder; no offense to the Wood-man, but if you were a wealthy society dame and you a) needed to purchase a male companion and b) could, presumably afford any such male companion plying his trade in the greater DC area, would you really be overjoyed at the prospect of seeing Woody Harrelson ringing your doorbell, six-pack and goofy, hayseed grin at the ready? Director Paul Schrader seems to think so, as he replumbs the same themes here as he did way back when with American Gigolo."

JE: "That raises an excellent question. Now, there is nothing wrong with Woody. I got no beef with him. In fact, I think he was one of the best parts of 'No Country for Old Men' and we all know how I felt about that film. But you're right. If part of selling this film, the plot and the protagonist is that he is a 'gentleman of the night,' shouldn't he at least be somewhat regarded as just a bit of a beefcake? At least for the sake of credibility? Not that I am any sort of authority on what guys are hunky and which are not, but I'm just saying. Who knows, maybe it works. Seems hard to believe on first blush."

This concludes our stroll down the garden path of new releases. Before we go, it's time for a fresh round of questions:

- Is it time to just let "Rambo" and all its trappings go, or does it deserve the same type of revival as other 70s and 80s movies?
- Last good Woody Allen movie you saw? Has he had a drop off in his films?
- What actor would you buy in a "YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!" type of movie instead of Richard Gere?

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