We're a day behind, thanks to the holiday, but fear not, new DVDs take no breaks - especially for regional holidays.

Videoport Jones has stopped by to sort through the pile of this week's new films. He's nice like that.

Cloverfield

Videoport Jones: "MONSTER ATTACK!!! AAAIIIEEEEE! It's 'Godzilla' meets 'The Blair Witch Project,' at least according to, oh, every reviewer ever, but the mix-'em-up is hard to escape as NYC takes it in the choppers from some big, disgusting destructive creature and its progeny. But I kid the Steinbrenners. Anyway, the whole tale of the tail is told through the digital eyes of some fairly annoying party kids with the help of their (improbably sturdy) video camera (seriously, I'm terrified to tilt one of those things on its side, never mind running through showers of falling masonry). It's a pretty neat idea ('The Blair Witch Project' was the best horror film of the last 20 years, and I will brook no discussion on the matter), and was written by a guy named Drew Goddard, who wrote some of the best, late-in-the-run episodes of both 'Buffy' and 'Angel'. The overrated dude responsible for 'Alias' and 'Lost' was also responsible in some way."

Justin:"Careful, Hank Steinbrenner will come after you. Seriously. And here I thought you loved JJ Abrams. Doesn't everyone love JJ? This movie deserves a lot of credit for being low-budget and coming out of nowhere to capture a lot of attention. The plot itself is almost standard monster/horror fare - friends must survive impossible, gruesome monster-aided odds. But it's the execution that makes it interesting. We could talk for hours about the marketing campaign (*cough, shameless plug for story I wrote, cough*) but the idea of telling a monster movie that does not heavily rely on the monster sounds good to me. Something tells me without the backing of Mr. Lost, a story like this may not have gotten the time of day. Rent it, buy it, you decide."

The Savages

VPJ: "Part one of the week's Philip Seymour Hoffman double feature extravaganza, this tale of two estranged siblings reluctantly reuniting to care for their slipping-into-dementia father (whom they never really cared for) stars the ever-brilliant Hoff along with no-slouches-themselves Laura Linney and Philip Bosco. I love movies like this; call me a glutton for gut-wrenching grief, but films like this are usually actor's playgrounds and, when you've got the Hoff in the mix, I want a place in the sandbox."

JE: "Actor's playgrounds? Opposed to the flashy, big-budget, FX-laden summer stock that we have just around the corner? I joke, but I know what you mean. As long as you don't call them 'think pieces' it's OK with me. The thing that I love about PSH is that the guy just keeps going and doesn't miss a step. The man could film a comedy for two months, step on set to a gut-wrencher and the fly off to do an action flick and never blink. He just works in any setting you drop him in. So maybe with 'Savages,' it's not so much about the story with you as it's about the Hoff, eh?"

Charlie Wilson's War

VPJ: "You want more Philip Seymour Hoffman? Videoport's got your Philip Seymour Hoffman right here, pally... El Hoff is, without question, one of the best actors of our generation and...no, you know what? I'm just gonna say it: PSH is THE best actor working in American films right now. Yeah, I said it. In this one, based on an improbable true story no less, Phil plays a profane, grumpy, hilariously uncouth CIA agent who teams up with Tom Hanks' womanizing, boozy Congressman and Julia Roberts' hateful, right-wing society harridan to secretly fund the Afghan rebels in their attempt to repel the Soviets in the 80's. Of course, the rebels were the Taliban, and the whole thing, in the long term, became a huge, well, let's just say headache, but it's an improbably engaging story. Written by TV genius Aaron Sorkin ('The West Wing,' 'Sports Night') and starring two hugely bankable stars and one real actor, so, of course, no one went to see it in the theaters. It must be all that thinking it asks you to do. Good work America. But don't be afraid- it's funny, and well-acted (even Roberts is okay) and it has the Hoff. Well worth your rental."

JE: "Not to go all Larry King, but for MY money a pairing of Hanks and Hoffman is GOLDEN! Sometimes I wonder if America gets Tom Hanks fatigue since the guy is everywhere - the moon, Germany, sharing an apartment with Peter Scolari - and at some point, that's gonna have an effect. Hopefully, it's not the effect of passing on his movies. Still, I can't imagine how this didn't get more love from the masses. Is Julia Roberts no longer America's darling? Let's just put our feelings on PSH aside (whose physical appearance and temperament in this movie alone are worth the admission), how can America say no to Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts? Sigh. I'll save you hours and paragraphs and not go into my tenuous relationship with Aaron Sorkin (I love him but he hurts me), but know that you won't be let down by the story."

The Orphanage

VPJ: "Spooky, atmospheric Spanish drama about a possibly haunted orphanage. Sound similar to 'The Devil's Backbone'? Well, it should, as it was directed by a protege of that film's director, Guillermo del Toro, and was produced by him as well. Good reviews and high spook factor. I'm in. In the Foreign Language section at Videoport!"

JE: "I remember seeing a preview for this flick prior to 'Juno,' and thinking - this is the type of movie you could not pay me to see. Now, don't think that is a way of saying this is a bad movie. It's not. In general, horror movies aren't my thing, but films that feature creepy children are severely off-putting. Plus I HATE subtitles. Seriously, who has the time? Oh, sorry, I was channeling the great American audience in that last bit."

One Missed Call

VPJ: "What's your cell phone plan like? Did you spring for the 'receive a call from yourself from the future at the moment of your death' package? Well, the really dumb people in this one opted for it, and they've got some serious buyers remorse (they're also probably not too happy about that 'Thong Song' ringtone either). A remake of an undoubtedly-superior Japanese horror film (available in Videoport's 'Made in Japan' section, natch'), this one should fare just about as well as those things usually do. Oh, and on a personal note, while I don't necessarily wish cell phone users any harm necessarily, I genuinely think the fear of a malicious, haunted presence terrifying people into not using the infernal things would make the world a much, much better place. Cell phones= the death of human civility."

JE: "Actually, that is a movie I would like to see, but something tells me this film does not make that connection. While I don't think cell phones are evil, you are right when you say they will be the doom of us all. If only there was a common sense booklet that came with phones. ANYWAY, I'll take a pass on this one for the fact that it seems kind of lazy. Perhaps the Japanese version is superior, but a phone that can kill you? Come on. That's the plot of a movie I'd expect to see Bruce Campbell in. And if he was, then I'd watch."

Them

VPJ: "No, not the classic giant ant horror film (Videoport does have that one as well, of course), this is a really creepy-looking French horror film about a nice young couple who find their country home invaded by...something. Maybe it's...THEM? Yeah, probably. And although the 'based on a true story' claim on the cover is seriously dubious, the buzz on this one is delightfully unsettling. Boo."

JE: "Why not a better title? With a title like 'Them,' I'm expecting something destroying cities, overrunning the countryside and generally wreaking grand-scale havoc. This is not that. Maybe worth checking out if only to dispel my notion that French horror films feature laconic, chain-smoking protagonists who give no chase and then die. Crap, sorry, channeling the American audience again."

Starting Out in the Evening

VPJ: "Great cast in this drama about an esteemed novelist/professor (Frank Langella), mired in a decade-long writers block, who's tempted into some unethical behavior by his fetching, ambitious grad student (the fetching Lauren Ambrose from "Six Feet Under"). Also with personal crush the delightfully offbeat Lili Taylor."

JE: "A movie with a literary theme featuring Frank Langella - you all know him even if you don't recognize the name - Lili Taylor AND Lauren Ambrose? A story about the late years of being a writer, struggling with what he wants to say and dealing with a changing world? Yes, yes, yes. Still, I'm surprised, Jonesy. I would have pegged Ambrose for your crush, not Taylor. Good to know."

The Backwoods

VPJ: "Gary Oldman. Man, why is he not getting more work? I mean, I have nothing against this thriller, which I hear is actually pretty good, but Gary Oldman is undoubtedly one of the most talented actors around and, if you look at his filmography from the last ten years, it's just a disgrace. Anyone remember 'Nobody's Baby', 'Interstate 60', 'Tiptoes', or 'Sin'? No? Well, maybe it's because they all went right to DVD, and through no fault of Gary, who is as talented as ever. So rent this one, where he and his tourist pals discover and set free a mutilated young woman imprisoned in a cabin in the Basque region of Spain and then flee for their lives, and support his quest for better roles. And, no, I don't mean more 'Harry Potter'."

JE: "Ha. It's funny because when you say that I immediately think of two things, Dracula and Jim Gordon. That is funny and sad at the same time, that I can't think of Oldman outside his roles in the Bram Stroker adaptation and in the new Batman franchise as the would-be commissioner. It is odd, because you watch Gary Oldman and you like what he does and how he just seems to sink into the role. You have absolutely no idea what this dude would be like in real life, but you don't care because he so completely becomes a character - even if it's in Harry Potter. I wish I could say I knew why he can't get better roles. Maybe it's because he's a Brit?"

And some new arrivals at Videoport this week:

Four, count 'em four, new episodes of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000"! We bring you "The Giant Gila Monster," "The Giant Spider Invasion," "Swamp Diamonds," and "Teenage Strangler!"

Two new additions to the Criterion Collection: "Death of a Cyclist" and "The Last Emperor!"

A couple o' British "Masterpiece Theater" types: Charles Dickens' "Our Mutual Friend" and the Admiral Nelson miniseries "I Remember Nelson."

Thanks as always to Mr. Jones for stopping by. Before you leave, consider the following:

- Was "Cloverfield" the next evolution of monster movies, or a lot of hype?
- Is Jonesy right, is Philip Seymour Hoffman the best actor working today? Defend or deny!
- Would you see a movie about a killer cell phone?

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