Tuesdays mean new DVDs are hitting the shelves of electronics stores and your local video store. (Since few people still use video, is that ever going to be changed? Local DVD store?)

Videoport Jones is in the building and has been thinking hard about this week's new releases.

Michael Clayton

Videoport Jones:"The first of the five best picture Oscar nominees to hit DVD, this one stars George Clooney as a corporate lawyer/'fixer' who has a crisis of conscience when he comes to realize that he is a lawyer. But I kid Satan's handmaidens. Anyway, this angry, powerful film has a great cast to go along with the Cloon: Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, Sydney Pollack, and is genuinely one of the best American films of the year destined to be trounced by 'No Country for Old Men' on Oscar night."

Justin: "Funny story. With the long weekend it seemed like a good time to take in a movie over at Le Nick. I had been anxious to see 'No Country,' but also curious to see 'Clayton.' It's hard to pass up on 'The Cloon,' but ultimately went with 'No Country' because 'Michael Clayton' was being released on DVD today. Long story short, I really, really, really wish I had picked this one instead. Put me in the 'did not care for' camp for 'No Country." I could pick that thing apart for hours, and did. ANYWAY, 'Clayton' is on my list. I'm sorry Cloons, I will never stray from you again."

American Gangster

VPJ: "Speaking of star power – yowza. Denzel Washington is the real life 70's drug lord, Russel Crowe is the dedicated cop who brings him down, and, throw in a little Chiwetel Ejiofor, Cuba Gooding Jr., 'The Wire''s Idris Elba, the RZA, and the venerable (and Oscar nominated) Ruby Dee. Again, I say- yowza. Directed by Ridley Scott, this gritty crime thriller should have enough violence for the action fan and plenty of that acting stuff for the rest of you."

JE: "Yes, yes, and more yes. I am not proud of myself for missing this one in the theater. I think I've become one of those people who just assume movies are going to be in theaters for a long time, and then when I can finally go, I end up with choices like 'National Treasure: Book of Secrets' and 'What did Larry The Cable Guy Smell This Time' for choices. This Hollywood–ized account of the rise and fall of Frank Lucas is an honest 'must see,' if only for the fact that you have Denzel vs. Crowe. It's like when 'Heat' came out. That movie could have been utter crap, but for the simple fact it had Pacino vs. De Niro people packed theaters to see it."

Lust, Caution

VPJ: "Arousal, Videoport Jones. Director Ang Lee ('Brokeback Mountain,' 'The Wedding Banquet,' 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,' pretty much never a bad movie) brings this tale of political intrigue, historical drama, and unparalleled clotheslessness. Starring the great Tony Leung ('In the Mood for Love'), this promises brainy, breasty food for thought."

JE: "Can someone toss a bucket of cold water on Mr. Jones, please? I recall hearing about this one, and if my memory serves it was at the Nick for a little while. Saucy and naughty, with a little mind candy to balance out the naked shenanigans? Sounds too confusing for most folks, but I have been known to be wrong. Also Jones, let's not forget Mr. Lee's 'The Hulk,' which I'm sure had plenty of people who wanted their money back."

Terror's Advocate

VPJ: "Remember that mean joke about lawyers being Satan's handmaidens and having tiny, tarry lumps of filth in place of their souls? Well, I apologize. Now here's a documentary about a lawyer who's made a lucrative career out of defending terrorists, dictators, war criminals, and, who was that other guy...wait, it's on the tip of my tongue...oh yeah, Nazi fiend Klus Barbie! Please, lawyers, accept my heartfelt repentance..."

JE: "You sir have the tenacity of a bulldog. You just don't let up do you? I'm certain not all lawyers are bad or Satan's handmaidens. What about public defenders, what do they have going for them. Maybe the bigger lesson from 'Terror's Advocate' is not that lawyers are evil, but that some people will do anything for cash. And that kids, is one to grow on."

For the Bible Tells Me So

VPJ: "Speaking of documentary-worthy jerks...This film follows the historical efforts by right wing Christians to perpetuate the Biblical misinterpretation which claims that homosexuality is evil, claiming that the Christian God has decreed that the prohibition against same-sex snugglin' is an immutable, universal truth and not just a sweaty, hate-based excuse for bigots and closeted, repressed people to indulge their innate meanness and to tamp down those funny 'down-there' feelings of their own."

JE: "Yowza. While no one wants to drop stereotypes about any group, no matter how mean they may seem sometimes, you do have to wonder about motivations. In history I don't think there's been a bigger motivator (for good or ill) than the Bible. Some people adhere to the word, others may see it as more of a 'choose your own adventure.' I'll be interested to see what this doc thinks."

Margot at the Wedding

VPJ: "Who doesn't love bitter, brittle dramedies about dysfunctional families? Oh, right, not many people, which is why no one's heard of this one, despite the collective star wattage of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Jack Black. Directed by Noah Baumbach, who did the similarly acclaimed, affecting, and unseen 'The Squid and the Whale', this is the story of two sisters with issues battling over the younger one's impending wedding to what is invariably-described as "a completely unimpressive guy" (poor Jables...). With a title and a tone which echoes French director-of-manners Erich Rohmer, this is a challenging, wryly funny character piece. Which is a description that sends chills down every marketing executive's spine. But who wants to see an easy-to-pitch movie anyway?"

JE: "But easy to market films are the guaranteed dollars, and no one cares if a movie's good if it don't make the bank pop. You joke, but there is a market for dysfunctional family movies, as long as the dysfunction is hilarious. Example: 'Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins,' or any number of Ben Stiller's recent movies. To some degree many families (not all) are dysfunctional in some way, but no one clearly wants to go spend money and two hours watching something that reminds them of home and doesn't make them laugh. Still, give it to Baumbach for finding a theme about broken families and sticking to it hard. Kudos man."

Finally, here are Mr. Jones' picks for this week, all variations on one theme: Hollywood deals with the War in Iraq, or as Jonesy might say, "timidly-outraged antiwar films."

"First there's 'In the Valley of Elah', which can boast a typically-affecting performance by crusty Tommy Lee Jones as an all-American father who crustily refuses to accept any shifty, governmental nonsense about what happened to his disappeared soldier son. Tommy Lee gets the job done, and will, of course, beat the crap out of you if you ever, EVER question his patriotism.

"Second, we've got 'Rendition', where puppyish actors Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhall attempt to channel some righteous indignation over the fate of an Arab-American guy taken to one of those secret CIA torture-prisons that liberals like me get so worked up about. Meryl Streep's along to lend her well-traveled gravitas to the proceedings. Oh, and, funny side note: everyone knows that the United States admits to torture as a matter of policy now, right? These confirmation hearings where nominees refuse to eliminate the necessity of TORTURE by OUR GOVERNMENT aren't just a wacky, 'Twilight Zone'-y parallel universe's programming. That's great, America. Take your $600 and silence your conscience with it. Buy yourself '24' on DVD.

"Third, and most berserk of all, is spazmaster director Brian DePalma's 'Redacted', where the master of non-subtlety uses every form of photographic medium known to man to paint an outraged portrait of a ripped-from-the-headlines tale of the cover–up of the rape and murder of an Iraqi girl by American soldiers. I'm all for uncovering government covering, but I haven't liked DePalma's last, oh, three decades of work, so I, respectfully, express my doubts. Oh well, at least it'll piss off the right people. Videoport loves America! Come bring us your money!"

Videport really does love America. Honest. Direct any questions, patriotic inquires or rental reserve requests to Videoport...where I'm sure you can also find a nice happy Disney movie too. Maybe.

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