Week after week Hollywood continues to pump out its hits and misses on DVD in hopes of making new money, or making lost money back.

Fortunately for you Videoport Jones is always here to tell you what to buy, what to rent, and what to avoid and avoid hard.

Gone Baby Gone

Videoport Jones: "Mrs. Affleck must be so proud. Elder son Ben reinvents himself as a talented director (and silences those naysayers, gigglers, and sniggerers out there), and younger sibling Casey gets bumped up from not being mentioned on the 'Ocean's Eleven-Thirteen' posters to legitimate leading man status in this gritty, wrenching, Boston-set kidnapping drama based on a novel by Dennis Lehane ('Mystic River'). Another tale of exploited children on the mean streets of Dorchester and East Boston, this one is actually better than 'Mystic River'; does that mean Ben is a better director than Clint Eastwood, and Casey a better actor than Sean Penn? Well, no, obviously, don't be stupid. But it does mean that this is a really good movie."

Justin:"I didn't know where you were going there for a second. Calling Ben 'Phantoms' Affleck a better director than Clint Eastwood. Don't scare me like that. On a quick side note, I caught part of 'Mallrats' on TV the other day (a movie that was a big part of my adolescences) and really wondered how far Ben's acting career had come since that movie. Didn't seem like his trajectory was too good since then. Still, if he can make the transition to director then bully for him. Then again, maybe the real test will be a follow–up. He and Matty Damon got a lot of credit for 'Good Will Hunting,' but there, just like here, they were really working with a lot of what they know, namely Boston."

No Reservations

VPJ: "Ah0hah-hah, a pun title! It's so clever the person who wrote it should rot in hell! Anyway, this is a remake of the German foodie flick 'Mostly Martha' in which an uptight chef gets all loosey goosey about food and life when she inherits a little girl and a kooky, hunky new cooking partner. The original was nice, if you like that sort of thing, but I just couldn't convince myself to watch this remake. For one reason, it's a remake. For the second, I just can't look at Catherine Zeta Jones near a little child without thinking she's going to take a bite out of it. It's just a feeling I can't shake."

JE:"Isn't she a mother? Then again she is the mother of Michael Douglas' child. Maybe that would make you want to devour children. I think this movie got more attention than it deserved because it was set against this backdrop of a kitchen and had a kid. But let's face facts America – it's a romantic comedy. You've seen it before, I've seen it before, and most likely it starred John Cusack. I have not seen it, but let me telegraph the plot: Zeta Jones is a cold perfectionist, she shuns the child at first, hilarious incidents ensue as she tries to clothe and feed the child. Along comes Aaron Eckhart, who melts the ice and warms the heart of her and said child. An incident happens to shake her faith in him, and he departs the kitchen. A change of heart, kiss in the rain and wisecrack from the kid later and the credits roll."

We Own the Night

VPJ: "Director James Gray re-teams with Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix, the stars of his completely-unseen film 'The Yards'. Will he recreate that nearly-forgotten, barely-remarked-upon magic? But I kid this guy I know nothing about. Wahlberg and Phoenix have come a long way since being a boy bander and named 'Leaf', respectively, and are actually always quite interesting. Throw in Robert Duvall and this tale of warring brothers caught up on opposite sides of a Russian mob war in NYC, and you've got a movie that nobody saw, but which might be decent after all. That's for sure..."

JE: "That's a pretty hardy endorsement Jonsey. Why not just call it 'messy, unpredictable, yet weirdly vital,' eh? I remember seeing the trailers for this and thinking every single time 'I liked it better when it was called 'The Departed.' That's probably unfair, but you have to admit it looks damn close, only minus the classic Scorsese soundtrack."

Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?

VPJ:"Christian cross-dresser director Perry ('Madea's Family Reunion', 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman', 'Madea's Fundamentalist Preach Party') stays behind the camera (and presumably in men's clothing) as he helms this African-American relationship dramedy. Some good young black actors get a chance, which is nice, but my one experience with Perry's obvious, churchy messageering (coupled with broad humor and stereotypes) was enough for me."

JE: "I don't know what to do with Mr. Perry. My mom and grandmother love his stuff. I don't get it. I mean Martin Lawrence did the same drag show in 'Big Mama's House' and the sublime 'Big Mama's House 2,' but got nothing close to the praise. (No pun intended) I guess the fact is he's got a core audience that really, really likes his message and writing...and loud–mouthed, bossy cross–dressing old ladies. OK that was cheap, but still, you get my point."

Romance & Cigarettes

VPJ: "After sitting on some company's shelves for a few years, this John Turturro-directed tale of a middle aged man deciding between his age-appropriate loyal wife and a young hottie-patottie finally finds a home on the DVD. Oh, and did I mention it's a MUSICAL! And the people singing include James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Steve Buscemi, Amy Sedaris, Aida Turturro, Mary-Louise Parker, Eddie Izzard and...wait for it...CHRISTOPHER WALKEN! A guaranteed improbable good time."

JE: "Why, oh why did I not hear about this before? Steve Buscemi and Amy Sedaris alone you would have had my money, but you throw Walken into the mix and it pushes this thing over the top. Maybe they wanted to capitalize on his musical turn in 'Hairspray The Musical turned The Movie.' This makes two straight weeks in a row of Mary–Louise Parker sightings, not to mention two straight Eddie Izzard/musical nods. That's hot."

Martian Child

VPJ: "My main man (crush) big Johnny Cusack stars in this indie as a lonely sci-fi writer who adopts a little dude who claims to be from, um, Mars. It's nice to see J.C. branching out into some uncharted waters, and it's even nicer that he's, again, brought in his sister Joan to help out with the little whippersnapper."

JE: "See reference, 'No Reservations.' Maybe if I caught this one on TBS late at night or on a sick day. Maybe. Look I like Johnny C as much as the next guy, but there are limits. Also, I think we as a nation deserve to know if he has a Joan clause in his contracts requiring his sis to be in his movies. How long till some producer calls his bluff and says 'yeah, we'll put her in. I think she'd be great as the love interest.'"

Dedication

VPJ: "Cool actors Billy Crudup, Tom Wilkinson, Bob Balaban, Amy Sedaris (again), and Martin Freeman star in this indie romantic comedy where Crudup's cranky children's book author hooks up with kooky illustrator...Mandy Moore. Mandy Moore. Whew. And while I don't know anything about this...person's...music, I have to way begrudgingly admit that I once, for a brief moment, thought she was actually funny when she guested on 'Scrubs'. But I didn't inhale..."

JE: "I also caught that turn on 'Scrubs.' She was good, but I think it should be noted she was dating Zach Braff at the time, hence the cameo. Still, she seems capable and funny, and much better than any of the other pop celebu-sicians there are out there. Yes to Billy Crudup and yes, yes, yes to Ms. Sedaris."

Becoming Jane

VPJ: "Jane Austen's life (turned down her one serious suitor, wrote some great books, died a spinster at 41) seems unsuited to the traditional Hollywood artist biopic, doesn't it? Well, it is. But that didn't stop some dingbats from dressing her tale up in some details from her fiction, 'Shakespeare In Love' style,throw in a handful of Maggie Smith, and have her played by a vacuous, blank-eyed starlet and WHAMMO! It's just like a Jane Austen adaptation, except not very good. Oh, and the casting of 'The Princess Diaries'' Anne Hathaway is right up there in the 'calamitous miscasting of all time' hall of fame with, say Chris O'Donnell as Ernest-freaking-Hemingway in 'In Love and War'. Howabout Paul Walker as Willam S. Burroughs? Or Charlize Theron as Gertrude Stein? Or Chad Michael Murray as Sophocles? I could do this all day..."

JE: "Howzabout Zach Efron as Kurt Vonnegut? That way we can tie into that lucrative Disney market! OOOH I WANT THAT MONEY! (A Schrute buck to the NXT reader who can ID what movie that phrase is from. Jonsey you are disqualified.) I can honestly say there's nothing in this that would appeal to me, but I think we've been down that road before. Sorry if it makes me boorish and predictable, but I just can't get onto the Austen train. Still it is curious casting. Did they really think they were going to get at some Anne Hathaway fanbase or cross–over fan group that digs Austen's tales of love and loss just as much as 'The Devil Wears Prada?' Sometimes I feel we need to get a lady reviewer in on this for a third opinion."

Final considerations:

- Ben Affleck, better actor or director? Worst film, best film? Better brother Ben or Casey?
- Romantic comedies...are they ever truly romantic or comedic?
- Better Cusack, John or Joan? TWO PARTER – Why does Joan always show up in John's movies?

E-mail this entry to a friend