Mr. Jones got to run solo last week and no one got injured. I'd say that's a win–win.
But even I'm not lazy enough to take another day off and let him run wild for a consecutive week.

So I'm back, the second chair to Mr. Videoport Jones, and his picks of this week's new DVD releases.

3:10 to Yuma

Videoport Jones:"The Western made a comeback last year, with the acclaimed releases of 'The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford' and this bloody, intense remake of an old Glen Ford movie. High-powered performances from Christian Bale, as a limpy farmer trying to decide what's right and Russell Crowe as a smarmy badman trying to manipulate his way out of the titular train ride which is taking him to prison. Looks great, good word of mouth (or WOM if you're ridiculous) from the reliable mouths at Videoport. Looks like a keeper."

Justin: "Making up acronyms now are we? Let's hope no one ever mistakes this for an 'industry' blog. ANYWAY, this one is on my 'must see' list, thanks in part to Christian Bale. I think it's fair to say I have developed a man–crush on this dude, largely thanks to his chops and role choices. Also, I find myself watching old westerns on AMC from time to time and getting into them. I don't even know what that says about me. Seriously, I found myself transfixed by "True Grit" a few nights back.The idea of a new western, done well, intrigues me."

Eagle vs. Shark

VPJ: "About the five jillionth movie heralded as 'this years 'Napoleon Dynamite,'' this almost unprecedentedly low-key deadpan comedy about two outsiders finding each other amidst the quietly quirky quaintness of New Zealand can boast Jemaine Clement, the taller of the two hilarious 'Flight of the Conchords.' I may be the only living human (the rest have been either converted, or killed) who thought 'Napoleon Dynamite' was a massively overrated nothin' (and Jon Heder's subsequent limp comedic output seems to suggest I'm right), but Jemaine is hilarious, 'Flight of the Conchords' is hilarious and, by the transitive property,* this should be hilarious as well.
*Science nerds, please pay attention: That was a joke. I know that is not the transitive property. We humans tell humor jokes from time to time."

JE: "I tanked hard in science, with the exception of high school physics, so make all the science jokes you want. If you say this flick has a Conchords connection, then it has piqued my interest. As for Dynamite, I missed that one and have not made any overt moves to check it out. Maybe the ridiculous, aggressive merch that sprang from it factored into that. No, I do not want to Vote for Pedro. You do raise a point, when was the last time someone saw Jon Heder?"

Sunshine

VPJ: "Director Danny Boyle ('Trainspotting,' '28 Days Later') a cool, international cast, and a great sci fi premise (a multinational spaceship crew has to RESTART THE SUN WITH A HUGE ATOMIC EXPLOSION) all got entirely ignored by the filmgoing (or, in this case, 'not–going') public, but the word on the street (or at least the Videoport aisles) is that this is one of the best sci fi movies in years. I know there hasn't been much competition, but still..."

JE: "Oh come ON. How can you discount 'Alien versus Predator," and the sequel, which a friend assured me has the presence of a 'pred–alien' hybrid! Those things burst out of people's chests man! OVERSIGHT! I read lots of good things about 'Sunshine,' and that it does what good sci fi is supposed to do, make your mind go someplace else and then smack you with themes from current society...like a 'pred–alien' leaping from your insides."

Death Sentence

VPJ: "BACON! Yes, the Baconator makes 'six degrees of' that much easier as he stars in this 'Death Wish-y,' 'those damned liberal courts didn't punish those dudes so I'm gonna exercise my second amendment rights...vigorously' thriller. On the plus side...BACON!"

JE: "Who doesn't enjoy a good 'they took everything he has...except vengeance' flick? I honestly can't think of a world where these types of movies don't exist. I don't want to think of that world. The thought of it makes me want seek two–fisted justice. Thanks to guys like Chuck Bronson and Lee Marvin. Also...viva Bacon."

Joshua

VPJ: "Sam Rockwell is usually too good for the movies he's in, and this Bad Seed-lookin' evil little kid thriller promises to continue the trend. Well, Rockwell's always worth watching, and if just one person gets the message that all children are evil (especially when allowed to handle rental DVDs unsupervised) then it was all worthwhile."

JE: "Children are evil? All of them? That makes me want to dispense some two–fisted...wait, hasn't this already been done? Didn't a remake of 'The Omen' come out last year? Why does evil always take root in children? Why not a badger, or an aging bus driver? Poor Sam Rockwell. David Mamet needs to make a new screenplay just for him."

Big Bang Love, Juvenile A

VPJ: "From Japanese master of squeamishness Takashi Miike ('Audition,' 'Ichii the Killer'] comes what he terms 'his masterpiece'. It's the no doubt unnerving tale of love and murder in a juvenile detention center. Knowing Miike's stuff, I've got the heebie-jeebs just thinking about it."

JE: "This week's entry for 'Only at Videoport' ladies and gentlemen!"

VPJ:: "And two entries in the WHY? WHY? WHY? file come in the form of two direct-to-DVD sequels to completely forgettable (and completely forgotten) horror movies that no one liked in the first place.

First, there's 'The Boogeyman 2' – I'll give a quarter to anyone who can tell me (without help from IMDb.com) what the first one was about. And don't expect credit for, 'um, the boogeyman...?' Genius.'

'Then, it pains me to announce the release of 'White Noise 2,' And not just for the obvious reason of the existence of a sequel to an abysmal Michael Keaton 'thriller'. No, my friends, it's because this one stars my main man, the heroic captain of the starship 'Serenity', Nathan Fillion. Oh, man, will somebody give this guy a freaking break. He put in his time on that awful 'Pizza Place' sitcom, he was abruptly canceled on the brilliant, perfect 'Firefly', no one went to see that show's equally-great cinematic sequel 'Serenity', or his work in the underrated horror comedy 'Slither', his show 'Drive' was canceled even faster than was 'Firefly', he got one episode only in the megahit show 'Lost', getting dumped by the show's least interesting character, and I think I saw him in a Frankenstein costume on an episode of 'Desperate Housewives', which even his presence can't make me watch. And now this. C'mon people, lets all give Nathan a break and...well, I honestly don't know if I should be urging you to go out and rent this movie for his sake, or urging you to ignore it ever existed for the same reason. Damn..."

JE: "Guns blazing, eh Jonesy? I can still remember when 'White Noise' came out. Not that it was notable for the film's plot, but because many people's first reaction was 'Michael Keaton's still alive?'

As for Mr. Fillion. Well, we're on the same page here, president and vice president of the Nathan Fillion fan club. But to those unfamiliar with him – and lets face it, there are many – his resume does not excite. I love the heck out of 'Firefly,' 'Serenity,' and the brief stint he had as a baddy on the final season of 'Buffy.' But I'm not most people. Still, I think everyone has a favorite actor or actress who is perpetually under the radar who they can't stop rooting for. It's actors like him and Sam Rockwell that make me want to go out to Hollywood and write a good screenplay or spec script for a show. Of course thats not really a wise option now, but still, you feel like all these guys need is just one breakout role."

Thus ends the meeting of the Nathan Fillion fan club, and another few minutes wasted away from work.

A few parting shots: Did you check out "Yuma?" Is the western still a viable movie these days? "Napoleon Dynamite," overrated or understated? What makes for a good sci fi movie? Do people want something like "Sunshine," or would they rather have "AVP: Requiem?" Is there anything you wouldn't watch Kevin Bacon in?

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