It's getting near that time when we've all got a some free time on our hands, right? What with all the shopping, the seasons greetings, the family, the sledding, the panic attacks. Right?

Need a break, or at the least a last minute gift? Videoport Jones is here with answers.

The Simpsons Movie

Videoport Jones: "For all of you jabbering on with your endless whines of, 'it's not as good as it used to be,' just keep tuning in to shows about people eating bugs, has-beens debasing themselves for table scraps, and Jim Belushi. The Simpsons, even on an off night, is still one of the funniest shows in TV history, and the long-awaited movie is exactly what its fans could have hoped for."

Justin: "I'll own up to the fact that I too have succumbed to the 'it's not as good as it used to be' disease. I know, I know, it's just the product of idolizing a certain period in life when The Simpsons was the alpha and the omega, and I was just the right age to absorb every single line of every single episode. Still, you hit it on the head, with all the dreck out there, you will be doing yourself a favor to watch the Simpsons. And by all indicators the movie is another solid effort from Matt Groening's All-American family."

Balls of Fury

VPJ: "Is it me, or was this movie previewed on DVDs as far back as two years ago? (That was rhetorical; it was). From Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant (of the great sketch comedy show 'The State'), Balls boasts Christopher Walken, in flowing Chinese robes, as the sinister host of an underground ping pong tourney. Amiably goofy, with the Walken delivering, as usual".

JE: "So much talent and it all seems to be a wash here. Sure I have not seen the movie (and that has never stopped me from passing judgment before), but it just doesn't add up. There's a lot of hilarious, making-you-cough-you're-laughing-so-hard movies out there with equally ridiculous plots ('Baseketball' comes to mind) that have gotten away with what 'Balls' is trying. But this one does have The Walken being Walken. Which, I am told by Red Sox fans, is like Manny being Manny. Odd but always reliable and entertaining.

Once

VPJ: "One of the most anticipated films in recent Videoport history, this musical romance about an Irish busker in love with a Czech flower girl on the streets of London seems destined to be one of those utterly-beloved, cross-gender, intergenerational, buy-it-for-your-mom-AND-your-girlfriend, feel-good hit of the year. And for all that, I still can't wait to see it."

JE: "I've heard the rumblings as well thanks to the critics, the bloggers, NPR and a good dose of buzz. Looks like another solid pick, but I'll wait until after the rush to pick this one up for rent. For my money, you'll find no better musical than 'Hairspray!' Whoa, did I just turn into Larry King?"

Underdog

VPJ: "Aw, c'monnnn. I have no desire to review, see, or even make fun of another movie based on a TV show. I will say that Peter Dinklage (so wonderful in 'The Station Agent') deserves about a thousand times better than this."

JE: "Really, Dinklage was in this? Did he subject himself to at least two acts worth of midget jokes? Wow. To think Jason Lee took all the heat for this one just for voicing Underdog, but wow, Pete, I almost can say you're better than that. Almost."

Halloween

VPJ: "It's a solid remake, as far as such things go, but, word to Mr. Zombie – there is no topping perfection, my man."

JE: "What's the deal with Rob Zombie? I'm not criticizing the guy because I think he's got a ferocious creative streak, but how does a guy go from making metal records to producing and directing feature films that get big play like this? Sure it's a remake, but how did that happen and he managed to keep his credibility?

Stardust

VPJ: "Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert DeNiro seem sort of bemused to be starring in this Lord-of-the-Rings-meets-Harry-Potter-meets-marketing-strategy fantasy adventure. Ian McKellan and Peter O'Toole are along for the ride, too, so at least there'll be some rewards for the discriminating."

JE: "If you've got some sort of fantasy/sci-fi feature out there that remotely appeals to kids, now is the time to get it out.. How else can you explain this, "The Golden Compas," the Chronicles of Narnia films...and it's just starting. Problem is, not everyone is Peter Jackson. Also I am trying very hard not to do a 'hobbit-sized shoes to fill' joke."

The Last Legion

VPJ: "The week's second entry in the 'lackluster epic studded with slumming stars' sweepstakes is this creaky story of a Roman legion mixing with King Arthur and the boys. Those looking for rewards might find them in the persons of Ben Kingsley, Peter Mullan, Colin Firth, 'Rome's' Kevin McKidd, and the knockout Bollywood star Aishwarya rai. Yowza."

JE: "Most of us will never know what it's like to have someone do the equivalent of backing up a pick up truck filled with money to your house just to work on something. Seriously. We seem to talk around this subject alot here because its so common to see an actor you like show up in some random movie clearly meant for a mass marketing orgy. After a while if everyone does projects like this, can you really call it selling out anymore?"

Hatchet

VPJ: "A self-touted throwback to the 'naked chicks and meat cleavers' slasher days of the 80's, this direct-to-DVD flick stars horror icons Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger), Tony Todd (Candyman), and Kane Hodder (he was under Jason Vorhees' mask a few times). And just because I'm a 'Buffy' whore, Mercedes McNabb (the Buffyverse's ditsy Harmony) plays one of the victims."

JE: "And why not go back to the days of naked summer camp death romps? At the rate movies are going maybe torture porn will go out of style and we'll start to yearn for simpler times when teenagers weren't just singing songs about high school or the mall, but also meeting a grisly end while trying to make-out, go to prom, or go for that ill-advised late-night skinny dip."

That's all for today boys and girls. Before you go, quick hits – has The Simpsons slipped a bit in its old age? Can Walken simply make a movie better by being in it? If everyone's doing big cash movies, is it still selling out? What will be the tipping point for family-friendly fantasy movies?

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