You know what goes great with several feet of snow and an ongoing screen writers strike?

DVDs. New ones. And lots of 'em.

Lucky for you Videoport Jones has some time, and knows a lot about movies.

Superbad

Videoport Jones: "The perfect storm of modern American comedy, this rude, crude, sweet, and utterly HI-larious flick brings together talents behind such brilliant fun factories as 'Freaks and Geeks,' 'Arrested Development,' 'The 40 Year Old Virgin,' 'Knocked Up', and pretty much anything else worthwhile in the last five years. Judd Apatow (producing here) has redefined movie comedy, and here he, and his cohorts (Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader) keep the standards high. Videoport's got lots o' copies of this one. Go nuts."

Justin: "You hate to trot out overused phrases that movie critics love, but this was honestly one of the funniest movies of the year. Perfect storm is right, the only thing that could have made this movie better would be an appearance from David Cross or Bob Odenkirk. Aside from being one of those supremely quotable movies (which can be good and bad), I honestly thought this movie was one of the most truthful portrayals of what its like to be in high school. I think a lot of people could identify with Jonah Hill and Michael Cera...and McLovin. Especially McLovin."

Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End

VPJ: "Again, I marvel at the existence of a second sequel to an initial movie that NEVER ENDED, but I digress. Overlong, overblown, based on a freaking corporate theme park ride, soggy with limp prettyboy and girl Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and wasting the talents of Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, and Chow Yun Fat, this series failed to keep my interest through a movie and a half, so I'm sitting this one out. And if I hear one more person jabber on about how they got Keith Richards to play Johnny Depp's father as if the prospect of watching Keith Richards stumble drunkenly about in silly clothes for three minutes were interesting, or even out of the ordinary, I may lose my professional mein. Pass."

JE: "After the first one came out I got a lot of flak for missing out. You would have thought Pirates of the Carribean was Schindler's List for how much people were talking about it. I'm a Johnny Depp fan and even I was tired of it. Maybe we can just chalk it up to sequelitis and the Hollywood law of diminishing returns, otherwise known as the Lucas corollary. If I got absolutely nothing better to do on a long holiday weekend or sick day I'll have to invest."

"The Wire"- Season 4

VPJ: "Not pass! For all of the 3am repeats of 'Stealing Harvard,' I've really got to give it up to HBO; they have created literally 75% of the worthwhile television series of the last decade, and 'The Wire' is one of the best of those. Surely not subsidized by the Baltimore Chamber of Commerce, this gripping, anguished, harrowing portrait of the Queen City's seemingly hopeless battle with crime and drugs is home to some of the best writing and acting on the tube. Ever."

JE: "You'll get no argument from me on that one. This is one of those shows that had trouble gaining and audience, partially because it's on HBO, ut also because the storytelling is so tortured and deliberate. Everything is slow developing and I love that. This isn't crime like on 'Law & Order,' this is gritty with lots of gray and no resolution in the typical TV sense. That all sounds really depressing, but maybe I like depressing TV. Or maybe I just like TV that's well executed."

"24"- Season 6

VPJ: "The further, absurd adventures of America's favorite (fictional) fascist hero continue also, courtesy of (surprise!) the FOX network. Did anyone else notice how many US lawmakers, in the hearings about the use of torture to combat terrorism, posited a scenario where an American agent would have only minutes to get information about a terrorist attack that could, I dunno, kill the planet or something as an argument against banning torture? Gee, I wonder where that idea got so much power? Oh yeah, the United States says that torture is okay, by the way."

JE: "So all that stuff I said about well-executed TV...HA! An admission, I do tune in to '24,' but only because its so increasingly absurd. I admit that's like aiding and abetting Jack Bauer and making his torture OK, but what can I say, I like knowing that tiny drunken misfit is out there willing to break someone's legs just to get information that is likely wrong or misleading and winds up complicating things horribly."

"Battlestar Galactica- Razor"

VPJ: "This movie-length episode of the refurbished sci-fi series was seemingly thrown out as a sop to the saps desperate for the 3rd season to JUST COME OUT ON DVD ALREADY. Providing backstory for the other battlestar, Pegasus, this is gonna have to do for a while; there's still no release date for the new season."

JE: "Now you're talking my frakking language. This was on TV over Thanksgiving and I have not had a chance to fire up the old DVR and watch it yet, so NO SPOILERS. That said I heart this show unlike any TV show in a long, long time. Talk about torture and drawn out storytelling. It's shows like this and Buffy that save/restore the sci fi/fantasy genre, telling stories that seem like they're about spaceships, robots and monsters on the surface, but really say a lot more about who we are. And sometimes we're people who are willing to go to extreme, desperate lengths to stay alive...while fleeing sexy robots. SO SAY WE ALL."

Lady Chatterly

VPJ: "Leave it to the Frenchies to out-Lawrence D.H. Lawrence with this saucy take on the once-controversial, and still quite sexy novel. Yummy."

JE: "It's funny when you think about all the permutations and rip–offs that sprung from the idea of a woman having an affair and learning about love, passion and life. If only all those soap operas and bad Lifetime movies (cheap shot) brought nearly as much thought to it as Lawrence. Oh well."

First Snow

VPJ: "Videoport's Sam (aka Portland's own blues legend-in-the-making Samuel James) vouches for this under-the-radar thriller starring Guy Pearce as a seedy salesman who gets a disturbing fortune told. With support from William Fichtner and J.K. Simmons (scary racist Vern Schillinger from 'OZ',) Sam will never steer you wrong."

JE: "Now there are two dudes who go largely unappreciated – Pierce and Simmons – who will constantly turn in solid performances, but then again also make pure crap (wasn't Pierce in a remake of The Time Machine? Yikes.). Then again Simmons made a lot out of nothing with the role of J. Jonah Jameson in the Spidey franchise. If Mr. James says it's solid I'm inclined to believe him.

The Nanny Diaries

VPJ: "Okay, this flick stars the excellent Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti, and the always-easy-on-the-eyes Scarlett Johansson, so why don't I want to see it? Hmmm...oh yeah, I'm a boy. And the prospect of watching yet another 'spoiled little kid pulls babysitter's pants down and thrown spaghetti at the wall' comedy loses its appeal when the babysitter's not Vin Diesel or Hulk Hogan."

JE: "We probably should just face the fact that this movie is not aimed at us, and by 'us' I mean snarky, nitpicky types with a Y chromosome. Still, I don't think that means we're all for guns, boobs and car chases in movies, but I'm just saying a story about a struggling young nanny who takes on the moministas, turns the heart of a child and finds love in the big city just does not appeal to me. But it does have the delightful Ms. Johansson going for it."

Arctic Tale

VPJ: "Narrated by Queen Latifah, this is another 'March of the Penguins' style harrowing look at unbearably adorable doomed arctic creatures getting eaten by orcas and drowning in the melting ice fields. All right, all right, I'll watch it, but someone's gonna have to hold me after."

JE: "Yeah all that stuff I was just saying about testosterone and cars, it also applies here. I sympathize with the cute widdle creatures, I just don't want to watch. Now if they were computer generated and rapping, then yes, yes I would. Can we get someone on this?"

The Hottest State

VPJ: "A film adaptation of Ethan Hawke's second novel (yes, you read that right) about a young, sensitive guy struggling with being young, and sensitive. And having great hair. It stars...wait for it...Ethan Hawke."

JE: "That guy's got a rough life. Really. Author, director, actor. When does he find time for Ethan to just be Ethan?"

And to round things out, here's Mr. Jones' picks for what's new at Videport this week.

"Saturday Night Live"- Season 2 – "The 22nd season, the first without Chevy Chase, and the first chance for babbling nimrods to yammer, 'last year was better'".

The Film Crew: Killers From Space – "Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy, all from the sadly-defunct 'Mystery Science Theater 300', decided they couldn't go on without making with the wisecracks at the expense of bad movies, so they started this direct-to-DVD clone where they, um, make fun of bad movies. I'm a huge fan of MST3k, and welcome the boys back with open arms. I just miss the robots..."

Thus endeth the lesson. Before you head out today, some things to consider – what makes Michael Cera so funny? What is it that is so appealing about Johnny Depp as a pirate? Seriously. How much longer can Jack Bauer crack skulls for 24-straight hours before he realizes he'd rather be somewhere in Mexico starting bar fights? Can someone out there speak to the appeal of nannies and cute arctic animals? BSG fans...where are you?

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