At the pace he's going Videoport Jones may alienate all other animation studios that aren't named Pixar. Still, I'm sure if anyone can make a kids movie about the life of a sarcastic, quick-witted film critic and video store employee, it's Pixar. Maybe they could make him a talking moose, with a belligerent groundhog who thinks he's a writer as a sidekick.

"Shrek the Third"

Videoport Jones: "Gassy second sequel proves that Dreamworks animation is the anti-Pixar. Forget about a decent script, ambitious animation, and appropriate voice acting, just load the thing with pop culture references, a paint-by-numbers look, and pile on the celebrity voices and people will come in undiscriminating droves. Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but Pixar consistently just makes all other animated flicks look like a big pile of ogre-crap. Oh yeah, and when they did a sequel (Toy Story 2), it was actually better than the excellent original."

Justin: "Maybe you are being harsh. Maybe. Having not seen 'The Third,' or the first sequel, I can only guess that they suffer from sequel-itis. The other force at work here is there is a need to force these movies to make sense to kids as well as parents, hence all the slap-dash pop culture references mixed with fart jokes. We get it, he's a big, gassy, ogre with a talking donkey. Anyone remember when Eddie Murphy didn't make kid-friendly movies?"

"Ocean's Thirteen"

VPJ "Having taken the 'bunch of lazy rich pals just farting around' criticism to heart, apparently, director Steven Soderbergh and his high-wattage stars reportedly get back to the fun of the first film in this, the second second sequel of the week. While, old fogey that I be, I continue to rail, uninterestingly, against the unending tide of unoriginality (be it in the form of sequel, prequel, remake, or trilogy), constantly lapping about our ankles here at Videoport, I love a good caper flick, and genuinely liked the amiable flash of the first flick, so I'll take my crankypants off, just this once."

JE: "Taking the crankypants to the dry cleaners for once? Wow. The power of George Clooney is truly great. I'll also give this one a shot. While I am also not the biggest fan of retreads, I loved the original and the remake. I can watch the remake anytime it's on TV - again, it must be that trademark Clooney handsomeness. I do think its funny that people piled on Oceans 12 for being nothing but a bunch of stars drunken escapades across Europe, when really the original 'Ocean's 11' was an excuse for Sinatra and pals to film a movie while they were doing their regular sets at the Sands and the other old-school casinos."

"Amazing Grace"

VPJ: "This unassuming British film, about the tireless anti-slavery crusader William Wilberforce has been on the lips of a surprising number of the Videoport faithful over the last few months. Good for them, I say, as championing the unexpected is what makes a Videoport customer so damned cool. Starring the vowelly Ioan Gruffudd, as he tries to re-establish himself as a viable leading man in the appropriately limp wake of Fantastic Four's stretchy Mr. Fantastic. He was pretty dashing as the star of the 'Horatio Hornblower' series once upon a time..."

JE: "Are you saying the 'Fantastic Four' is career cyanide? Everyone loves a good 'based-on a true story' movie and this one got decent marks, if not a lot of play in theaters. When you're looking for an alternative to caper flicks, this would be a good start."

"La Vie En Rose"

VPJ: "Another little movie with great Videoport buzz, this biopic about the legendary, diminutive French chanteuse Edith Piaf did great business at the Movies on Exchange St. when it was in town, and I can't wait to see it, my own self."

JE: "You got me on this one Jonsey. I know little about Piaf other than what I could Wikipedia, but like any tragic hero story I'm sure its engrossing. Plus early 20th Century period pieces set in Europe are always fun."

"Paris, Je T'Amie"

VPJ: "An oddball omnibus film featuring short films about the city of lights from such directorial luminaries as the Coen brothers, Alexander Payne, Gus Van Sant, and, of all people, Wes Craven. I love things like this: throw a bunch of directors a vaguely unifying idea and set them loose. It's always a mixed bag, but like with gum drops, you relish the ones you like and just leave all the licorice ones stuck to the theater floor."

JE: "Nice gum drop analogy. These things can either be fun or an exercise in showmanship, as in, who can out do who. They can also be a waste of time if the directors just slap something together. Then again, one of my favorite movies, 'Four Rooms, was a director's hodge podge, so what do I know."

"This Is England"

VPJ: "Autobiographical British film about a lonely boy who is befriended by the local white supremacist skinhead gang. Luckily, the kid got over that phase and directed this acclaimed flick."

JE: "And once again, only at Videoport ladies and gentlemen. Seriously, would you rather take a gamble on 'This is England,' the latest slasher flick or 'The Santa Clause 3?' I'm just sayin'..."

"The Devil Came On Horseback"

VPJ: "Completely harrowing documentary about the ongoing genocide in Darfur, Sudan. No joke, and no jokes...read a paper, people."

JE: "Wow, and a plug for reading newspapers. Nice job Jonesy. Shameless plug aside the Sudanese genocide has been going on for years and still receives scant attention. Check this one out."

To round things out here's Mr. Jones' picks for what's new to Videoport this week on DVD:

"Darling" - "Julie Christie won the best actress Oscar in 1965 for this portrait of an amoral social-climbing model. She's gonna win another one this year for her heartbreaker of a performance in 'Away From Her'. That's VP Jones' stone-cold lock of the year. Mark it down. And, yes, mark her down in my list of (very) mature actresses I have wholly0inappropriate crushes on, smart guy..."

"Seduced and Abandoned" - "The good people at the Criterion Collection give the deluxe DVD treatment to this classic Italian comedy/melodrama ("comododrama"?) about a shiftless dude, his knocking up of his fiancee's fifteen year old sister, and the comically outraged papa with the anger, and the shouting, and the cutlery."

"Cave of the Yellow Dog" - "The guy who gave us "The Story of the Weeping Camel" just won't stop squeezing our hearts like execu-stress balls with tales of unbearably adorable animals in trouble. This one's about, what?..a little girl and her puppy?!? Oh, c'mon!!"

"Knightriders" - "This completely-bonkers flick from zombie master George Romero starred a very young Ed Harris as the leader of a Camelot-like band of motorcycle-riding renaissance-festers. I know, right? One of my guilty pleasures, this is a genuinely interesting curio."

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