Sure you could save your money for the important things - rent, bacon, a topical cream for that rash - but why do that when there are new DVDs, CDs and videogames out?

If you're looking for irreverent, inappropriate and intelligent (I needed another "in_ word) insights on this week's new releases, you've come to the right place.

As always, riding shotgun on this adventure is film aficionado and boy-band retiree Videoport Jones!

On to the releases!

"The Condemned"

VPJ:"The manliest film in manville. Professional 'rasslin' thug 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin mans it up, man-style, against professional soccer thug Vinnie 'Hard Man' Jones in yet another 'Most Dangerous Game' plot with the two manly men (and assorted other slightly less manly men) killing each other off with maleness. Also explosives and guns. My girlfriend Emily (while not manly in most ways) suggests calling it 'The Most Dangerouser Game.' And then she hit me."

JE: "Why not 'Danger on Danger Island?' Yeah, I remember the commercials and trailers. As guys are we obligated to get some sort of charge out of seeing something like this that completely overwrites all other sensibilities we have? Then again, you won't find a louder guy then me when Jason Bourne is breaking legs."

"D.O.A."

VPJ:"The manliest film in girlville pits many buff martial arts ladies (and their stunt doubles) against each other in this video game adaptation. So you know it'll be good. Or bad. It'll definitely have hot chicks beating the crap out of each other, that I do know."

JE: "This movie is notable because it has Eric Roberts. That man is indispensable in B-movies. The key to videogame adaptations is to keep tongue stuck in cheek. Know what you've got and don't overshoot it, otherwise you end up with 'Street Fighter.' I think this is the second 'Street Fighter' reference I've made on new DVD Tuesday. That can't be good."

"Lucky You"

VPJ:"Eric Bana is obsessed with winning the world series of poker. And with Drew Barrymore. And with the reasons why this film sat on the studio's shelf for a few years before it was released. For an excellent poker movie, I'd suggest bypassing this tepidly reviewed flick for 'Rounders,' with Matt Damon, Edward Norton, John Turturro, and the awesome John Malkovitch as 'Teddy KGB.'"

JE: "'Mr. son of (BLEEP!) let's play some cards!' Ah Teddy KGB, in my opinion, one of the best characters in all of film. I could watch that movie for days. As for this one, do you even think the actors had fun making it? Plus, don't all moves involving romance in Vegas all go bad? I think a quote from Worm (Ed Norton) will sum this up best - 'In the poker game of life women are the rake, they are the (expletive deleted) rake!'"

"Death Proof"

VPJ: "This is the Tarantino half of Grindhouse, which studio geniuses have decided to expand into a single feature and release separately, at least for now. Has any artistic decision made by a studio's marketing department ever resulted in anything but disappointment and shame? Seriously, I know the film didn't do well for you, digitheads, but leave our filmmakers alone. Oh well, I'll wait for the inevitable boxed set."

JE: "Did not see it, but heard all sorts of good things. Too bad it did not seem to get anyone into the seats. Ah the digitheads. So in this attempt they'll break up the project in order to try and make it pay for itself? How does that make sense? If you're getting Grindhouse, you know what you're in for. So why would you pick up one and not the other?"

"We Are Marshall"

VPJ: "Matthew McConoughey plays the real life coach assigned to rebuild the titular university's football team after the previous team dies, in toto, in an accident. Yipes. Recruitment must've been tough; I think I would have gone with the whole 'what are the odds that would ever happen again' angle with skeptical parents. Looks to be a pretty inspirational sports flick, though. Plus, ladies, McConoughey in those tight Russell Athletic coaches shorts and knee-high white socks! Yow!"

JE: "Confession time. Anyone who's spent more than a few hours with me knows I have a latent man-crush on Matthew McConoughey. It's really unexplainable, but it largely stems from 'Dazed and Confused.' As for 'Marshall,' I have it on good authority from a buddy who went to a school in the MAC that this film takes some 'liberties' in the creative process. I'll see it eventually, but you always wonder about sports movies - why do they always have to be so formulaic? Granted, this is based on a true story, but sports flicks always have to have some tragedy, some resurgence, and a bunch of doubters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the Moon Tower, got a party to set up...alright alriiight."

"Severance"

VPJ: "British horror comedy about an office on corporate retreat who run into Deliverance-style difficulties. Compared on the box to 'The Office meets The Hills Have Eyes'. If that were the case, I'd bet on Dwight to be the lone survivor. Maybe with Angela at his side, cannibalizing Kevin."

JE: "I heard about this one as well. You have to figure the Brits export these movies not expecting much of a response from the general American filmgoing audience. While people can see the humor of everyday office monotony in a movie like "Office Space," the most likely won't chuckle when co-workers turn on each other while making jokes about efficiency habits. Then again, the public was pretty receptive to 'Shaun of the Dead,' which took a comedic twist on zombie movies."

"The Flying Scotsman"

VPJ: "Jonnie Lee Miller keeps the inspirational sports juggernaut speeding along with this real life tale of a Scottish bicycle racer battling schizophrenia. And Lance Armstrong thought he had it bad with that whole testicle thing."

JE: "A bicycle racing movie? I'm sure it's endearing and all those words critics use to describe movies you're supposed to feel good about ... but bicycle racing? I'd have a hard time coming to that. Though I would be interested in seeing schizophrenia handled in a non-comedic way for once in film."

"Red Road"

VPJ: "Good-looking indie thriller about a CCTV security worker who sees someone mysterious from her past on the monitors. Good reviews. I'll see it."

JE: "I'll have to take your word on this one VJ."

"ZOO"

VPJ: "Had to let everyone know Videoport has this documentary about real-life horse fetishists and one guy's unfortunate, but perhaps foreseeable, death from internal injuries. Um, ow?"

JE: "Uh .... let's keep this thing moving."

"The Upright Citizen's Brigade" - Season 2"

VPJ: "Justin and my girlfriend Amy Poehler (we'll settle who gets her if and when we ever actually meet her) and her equally brilliant comic cohorts finally get a DVD release for the 2nd season of what I consider to be the best sketch comedy show since 'Monty Python's Flying Circus'. Viva chaos!"

JE: "Now you're talking. I've been waiting for this one for a long, long time. I think you hit the nail on the head, as the kids say. I remember watching UCB when it first aired and crying I was laughing so hard, and thinking this has to be what it was like when Monty Python first came on the scene. I can re-watch the 'Bucket of Truth' sketch anytime and it still makes me lose it."

"Prime Suspect 7"

VPJ: "Helen Mirren says goodbye to her most memorable creation in this, the last case of Inspector Jane Tennison. Love this series, and if Amy Poehler should choose Justin over me (and if Emily says it's okay), I'll choose Helen as my new movie star girlfriend."

JE: "Jonsey, you and your thing for the mature actresses will get you in trouble some day. I feel like one of the reasons the 'Prime Suspect' series worked out so well is because it did not have any of that American-TV procedural cop show trappings. Granted, me and my lady can watch any of the many "Law and Order" iterations all day long, but it's nice to see dramas that don't feel beholden to 'crime drama 101.'"

Since we were running long, head on over to Mr. Jones' blog to find out more about what's new at Videoport this week.

That about does it, but here's your questions for the day:

- Quentin Tarantino: Overrated, or worth the praise?
- Office comedies - are they made better with gratuitous violence?
- McConoughey: Great American actor, or GREATEST American actor?
- Have you ever peered into the Bucket of Truth?

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