It's time for the Scanner - where all your YouTube shame finds new life as "educational videos."

We've got a lot to run through today, not just the typical crop of YouTubes, but also the results of the week-long 'mustache voting!

The final tallies from "The 'Stache is Right" voting. I'd like to thank all the candidates and especially all the voters out there for demonstrating what makes democracy great. The winner should be no surprise, he's a ladies man, a man's man, and has been known to drive a car over a river, trailer and police in pursuit.
I'm talkin' about The Bandit.

As NXT reader T-$ so eloquently put it, "Go Burt or go home." Right on to that good buddy.
Now I've got about a month and a half to get this thing into fighting shape. I smell a 'stache montage.

"East Bound and Down," it's 'stache growin' time.

But in seriousness, thanks for voting guys, I appreciate the help. Of course, I disgraced myself by not include Mr. Robert Goulet, but the Bandit will be a fine 'Stache.
Here's a pic from this morning. Clearly I need a Trans Am and cowboy hat for full effect.

I do have to say I'm not sure how I feel about the 'stache. I look at myself in the mirror and quickly look away. Right now the 'stache says "trying for credibility," "NFL assistant coach," or "Timothy Dalton."

Now I just need to get on a mustache rich diet. Any suggestions?

Anyway, let's get on to the Internets.

Move over web-slinger Geeks need not be alerted to this, but for the rest of society, this week saw the release of the trailer for the Iron Man movie. On first thought this may seem like just another franchise, just spend a few minutes watching this. It involves Robert Downey Jr. playing a lush who has to redeem himself, but instead of doing it through intense roles in film...he builds a cybernetic suit of armor.

Speaking of heroes In this unscientific poll of Americans, the majority say they would want MacGuyver at their side during a disaster, beating out Jack Bauer, John McLain and Jason Bourne. Just goes to show, you can kick all the butt in the world, but it's not as trusty as a pocket knife and some duct tape. (Hat Tip - Fark)

Another candidate for "who demanded this" films File this away with the news that "Johnny Quest" and "Joust" were in development - someone wants to make a sequel to "Tron." Yeah, that's right. "Tron."

Maybe they can rename his Vitamin Water If you recall a few weeks back I brough up the pseudo-feud/desperate attempt at album sales when he pledged to end his solo career if Kanye West's "Graduation" outsold "Curtis," his newest album.

If the early sales are any indication, let's all hope retirement suits him. To drive things home, Rolling Stone takes a cue from CNN and the New York Times and does a exit poll on opening day sales.

Rock like an Eagle! A few weeks back on New DVD day with Videoport Jones I mentioned the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," which is back for its third season tonight on FX. To get a taste, check out the show's MySpace page to watch an entire episode.

We'd also like to welcome Boy Scout Troop No.# 2319Oh man...in the pantheon of great pranks and bad ideas, this one has to be a doozy. We've all joked about how crappy you would feel if you proposed to someone at a sporting event and they said no. Well, what if they said yes, but you actually didn't propose. (Hat tip - College Humor) (Contains some blue language.)

Pride of the Hawkeyes Sometimes people wonder where stereotypes come from. Sometimes people wonder why college kids are frequently the butt of jokes. Sometimes people wonder where the sport of phonebook dodging comes from. As a native Midwesterner I take no claim to Iowa.

That may be too thrifty Someone brought this to my attention before, but I quickly forgot about it because it gave me a serious case of the wiggins. Think all the food consciousness of a vegan mixed with the social barometer of a third generation hippie. Also, someone who does not like to spend money. Then you end up with a "Freegan," people who literally live off other people's garbage. Yeah. Just try and let that settle for a few minutes. (Hat Tip - Neatorama)

She's the one who's not well?For those of us who were watching football Sunday night and missed MTV's video music awards, you may have heard Brittney Spears left her talent undies at home. In this clip, a fan pleads with the media and the haters to leave. Brittney. Alone!
Whoa. (Note - There are a few swears and some other "improper language" on the YouTube page. Still, it's not nearly as shocking as this guy's state of mind. You're going to want headphones on this one.)

Livin' 'Neath the Law "30 Rock" star Jack McBreyer offers up little public service for people looking to get one over on their dealer. (Note - contains 1 improper word.) (Hat Tip - Funny or Die)

She needs a good home, has all her shots The New York Times discovers a website aimed at helping parents marry off their daughters is indeed a fake We were worried it was real?

That about does it for today. I got this one up late so I'll push back the Commenter of the Week Deadline to 9 p.m. EST. There's a lot of stuff to work with here, including SuperBrittney Fan, Midwestern college hijinx, creepy trash eaters, and oh yeah, a picture of me with a weird mustache.

Remember, there's a free guest post available to some lucky winner.

Comment away!

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