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September 05, 2007
Of Mustaches and Men

There comes a pivotal point in most guys' lives where they have to decide - what am I going to do about my facial hair?

This typically happens after the whole Peter Brady voice squeaking and "hair where there was no hair before" embarrassments.

When it comes down to it, you're a clean-shaven guy, beard guy, or goatee guy, right?

But whatever happened to mustache guy?

If the 70s and 80s are any indication, the 'stache has seen better days, a time when it was revered as a status symbol. Men where proud to wear the mustache then.

These days mustaches are worn for comedic effect, or, if it's an episode of "Law and Order" as an indicator that you're a degenerate who owns a black van.

But the mustache is quietly and slowly making a comeback.

Of course we've already been over the important work being done at the American Mustache Institute.

More recently The world beard and mustache championships were held, and Team USA walked away with a win.

Across the pond the British have been up to their own charitable mustaching for a few years with Tacheback, which also raises money for what they call "male cancer."

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Also, apparently someone made a documentary about the brave young men who are trying to bring about a resurgence of the mustache, "The Glorious Mustache Challenge."

Which all brings me to my point: I am growing a mustache.

To clarify, I am growing a mustache for charity. A buddy of mine convinced me to take part in The Great 'Stache Off, a two-month contest to raise money for testicular cancer research.

While I have not had any personal experience with testicular cancer, the prospect of it (along with prostate cancer) is something most men have somewhere in the back of their mind.

But more important than helping a good cause, I enjoy a good 'stache. So from now until the end of October I'm growin' it out, humbly asking people for donations and at least trying to talk about testicular cancer.

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What does this have to do with all of you?

Simple - I need to decide on what type of 'stache to aim for. There's a lot of types out there, and I do have my favorites, but I thought I'd throw this open to you, the bloggin' audience, and see what happens.

Below you'll find a poll with a few mustache types in the running. They include classic and current styles. Voting closes a week from today. Vote early, vote often.

And if you've got any other suggestions for 'stache fashion, or thoughts on the mustache's place in American culture, make sure to get in on the comments. To get more information on the contest, my competition, the rules and testicular cancer research, go to The 'Stache Off source.


Posted by at 02:25 PM

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Comments

Once my boyfriend called me and said, "I have a surprise for you, and I don't think you're going to like it." He shaved his beautiful beard into a mustache. He then demaned to be taken seriously, because it wasn't an ironic mustache.

Posted by Amanda
September 5, 2007 05:20 PM

I, of course, voted for "The Bandit," aka "The Turd Ferguson." That's right - Turd Ferguson. Ha-ha. It's a funny name.

Posted by Patrick
September 5, 2007 05:52 PM

I voted for the Calrissian because, well, DAMN.

But if you're growing a moustache, you know the one moustache that out-moustaches all other moustaches.

That's right: The Goulet.

Posted by Elsa
September 5, 2007 07:15 PM

CRAP! How could I forget the Goulet?!

I have failed you Mr. G.

Posted by Justin Ellis
September 6, 2007 09:23 AM

I think the Chaplin looks a little too much like the Hitler. I can see why no one has voted for it. Go for the Magnum. That is the classic '70's - '80's 'stache.

Posted by Jane
September 6, 2007 10:18 AM

while burt and tom do have two of the classiest 'taches in showbiz, i think you'd be better served by something longer, something like the shaq-fu-type handlebars, but with some definite upper-lip overgrowth. that would be burly as all getout. you'd need a shorty-sized flyswatter just to keep them wimmins at bay. whatever kind of flavor saver you choose, i think i speak for all men when i say thanks, from the bottom of my scrotum, for fighting the good fight.

Posted by c money
September 6, 2007 10:25 AM

I vote for the Calrissian. Lando has always been a hottie. By the way, I have never seen you without facial hair, and I feel as if I have just seen a naked picture of you. Get growin!

Posted by kentucky
September 6, 2007 10:35 AM

Well, yes, forgetting The Goulet is a terrible, terrible oversight, and you should feel bad. Terribly bad.

But on the bright side, you didn't include The Wayne Newton. That's a snivelling little excuse for a moustache, that is.

Go, Calrissian!

Posted by Elsa
September 6, 2007 03:23 PM

(Incidentally, VPJ once sacrificed his full and manly beard to spend Halloween as Goulet. Ask him. Ask him ten or twenty times; he'll spill the story.)

Posted by Elsa
September 6, 2007 03:27 PM

I am starting to worry that vpj and justin ellis might be twins separated at birth.

Posted by ac
September 6, 2007 04:04 PM

I feel sad that Shaq is losing the same week his wife left him.

Posted by ac
September 12, 2007 10:24 PM

shaqs wife didnt leave him ac, he kicked her out cus she was stealing his money and buying houses or something. or kids.

Posted by sm
September 13, 2007 11:58 PM

Messing with Shaq seems like a really bad idea. I wouldn't.

Posted by ac
September 17, 2007 09:56 AM

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Justin is a former newspaper intern and has the scar tissue to prove it. Justin has been a staff writer for the Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram since 2003, and in 2004 began writing a weekly column in the Monday Magazine.

If he had to pick a label, the column would fall under "youth culture," covering everything from high school dance etiquette, dealing with college debt, the resurgence of Roller Derby and Portland's one-of-a-kind music scene. This of course has not stopped him from answering letters to Santa Claus or writing about his experience riding shotgun in a drift car.

Justin is an export from the Midwest. He is a graduate of the University of Missouri and is originally from Minnesota. He enjoys bacon, cheap beer, redheads, Burt Reynolds jokes and wondering what the soundtrack to his life would sound like.

When he grows up he wants to be an international art thief. Or Captain America.

Until then he'll be bringing you dispatches about "the young people" and what they do.





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