If it's Thursday then it must mean time for The Scanner - it's like an intervention, only more fun.

Yup, it's Hazing The University of Maine has come down on the softball team - and wouldn't you know it, that is hazing. At least three suspensions have been handed out. Wow. Who knew making people dress up in ridiculous outfits and drink was hazing? But that sounds like college life at most public universities. Meanwhile, the guy who brought the whole thing to light has already moved on to new cases of hazing. (Look to second item for thoughts on the UMaine fiasco.)

The Not-Ready-for-The-Octagon-Players Would you believe ultimate fighting has gained a foothold in central Maine. Of course they're not quite ready to step into the ring with the likes of Chuck Liddell just yet.

To sleep, to dream, to rest...with the pigs.
This kid at the Skowhegan State Fair has the right idea.

Reading between the lines Apparently The Bollard has time to be a "thorough and competent" copy editor of my work. I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm out having drinks.

And there’s a man down This week was Madden-mas for fans of the long-running video game franchise. Highly anticipated to say the least, Madden NFL 08 had people lining up in the wee hours of Monday night just to get a copy. Piles and piles of money were made and the reviews are already coming in.

The game is getting great reviews on the Wii and Xbox 360 on the other, you get guys like this, who like to be loose with the F-bombs and their opinions on much hyped videogames. (Earmuffs for younger listeners, or those with tender sensibilities.)

UPDATE: Oh man I just read this and don't know if it's true, but Jay Mohr's got one heck of a Madden story. How do you make John Madden's comforting, yet-disturbing voice even more disturbing? Drugs.

He’ll always have Vitamin Water Would you believe
50 Cent is betting his career on his new album beating Kanye West’s album in sales? On Sept. 11 50’s Curtis drops on shelves, alongside Kanye’s Graduation. Personal preference aside, why would you start a beef with someone just to up album sales?

Return to the Closet There are some things you just can’t believe, refuse to believe, even when you are presented with evidence proving your worst fears. Of course, I’m talking about new chapters of R. Kelly’s "Trapped in the Closet" being released.
I … wow. Who could possibly think this is a good idea? Ask the Independent Film Channel, which is airing all the new chapters. I can’t begin to explain the combination of midgets, infidelity and gun play involved here.

Define Irony Amy Winehouse has apparently gone to rehab. Make your own jokes.

Oh wait ... on second thought, she really did say no to rehab. (Hat Tip: Pop Candy)

He knocked on the door and no one was there In my non-movie critic opinion, "The Bourne Ultimatum," was a pretty airtight action flick. Turns out Damon-buddy Ben Affleck wants in on some Bourne action.

Fear wears a painted smile For those of you with coulrophobia, finally there is an outlet for your completely rational fear.

Who watches the Wiki So we already know Wikipedia can be an awesome if not at times tainted source of information. Finally someone’s created a system to see who exactly has been editing the Wiki

When fake news becomes real As if the YouTube vs. Viacom (you know, the megalith that owns a handful of cable networks and film companies) wasn’t bad enough, now they’re bringing in the big guns to give testimony: John Stewart and Stephen Colbert

That’s a GREAT idea!Time warner offers a fake DVR service without the benefit of skipping commercials. Why would
anyone buy this?

That's a lot of zlotys Never say you weren't warned about the downsides of too much text messaging.

Curse you Red Dragon!Sure they keep finding ways to make food dangerous and make parents insane
with fear over what their kids are playing with, but really, China is a
really good friend to America.

Last week it was the Aeroscraft now, from the people who promise the future won't be a place of robot overlords and constant survaillence, here comes the
hoverboard. Yes, you read that right. As in, made famous by Marty "Don't
call me chicken" McFly.

Speaking of dystopian futures, if I have to choose my mechanical overlords, then I choose Bacon Robots. Yeah, that’s right.

Today's the last day to get your comments in and don't forget to vote for who you think should be the Commenter of the Week by emailing me or voting through the comments. Votes need to be in by 6 p.m. today. If you need a refresher on who's been chatty this week, check out the recent comments links on the right.

Remember, if you got a Web site, video or otherwise bizarre phenomenon on the Internet, e-mail me or IM me (JustinNXT) and it’ll end up in the Scanner.

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