Yeah, you read that right. Girls Gone Wild, as in "reliably-sketchy-
always-getting-sued-for-not-getting-girls'-permission
-to-air-their-drunken-exploits" "Girls Gone Wild."

Tonight, in Portland, you can party with "Girls Gone Wild." Threeways Night Club down on Wharf Street is hosting a party with "GGW," and you can be a part of it for a $10 cover!

When I first saw a poster for this it literally stopped me in my tracks. How was it possible that "Girls Gone Wild" could be in Portland? More importantly, judging by the poster, are they going to be partying, or "partying" with a few cameras and some Jello-shots?

Just to be clear, I did not wake up this morning and have a tall glass of Hater-ade. I’m not going to knock a club I’ve never been to, but doesn’t it seem odd that in a city that nearly turned itself upside down trying to stop a Hooters from moving in, that no one has said anything about "Girls Gone Wild" stopping by for a night?

Speaking of "adult features," a business man in Farmingdale wants The Man to stop interfering with his business. His adult book and video store business, that is. Naturally, his business is named "1st Amendment Adult Book and Video," and really this story would just be a typical "town wants to edge out smut peddlers" type of thing. (Sorry, I could not resist using the phrase "smut-peddler." You try to say it and not laugh.) But then you get to this quote from owner Will Stuart:
"The governor wants to make jobs and then there's those who want to shut them down," Stuart said Tuesday. "My people have families to support. I served my country. I pay my bills and my taxes on time. I want to be grandfathered."

To quote an episode of South Park, "Isn’t this America? I’m sorry, I thought this was America!"

Well it’s finally come to this, some universities are upping the tuition for certain majors against others. For example, at Arizona State University, journalism students will get charged an additional $250 per semester on top of the $2,411 in-state tuition.

So let me get this straight, for students already struggling to pay for college, they may have to settle for their second choice major now? Why study engineering when English is cheaper?

A new survey says more Americans are wasting time at work. What do you know, young workers are taking the hit! Look, old people, it's not our fault we have no fear of using the Internet. It can be your friend too...if you enjoy watching video clips of breakdancing midgets.

This will make Hunter S. Thompson fans (such as myself) very, very happy. If you call yourself a Hunter fan and have not read "The Rum Diary," shame on you.

In gaming news, these music simulators are getting out of control. Guitar Hero, yes. Rock Band, sure. Sousaphone Hero…not so much. (Note: The Onion has been known to use some blue language . Be advised if reading at work.) (hat tip: Engadget)

Over at "The Hater," on the Onion A.V. Club, we find out that really, you can make just about any movie in Hollywood. "What’s that, a wacky teen sex romp! Why don’t we just start printing our own money!?"

"He can’t hear you with his shirt on." If you have not discovered Overheard in Portland yet, do yourself a favor and take a peak. Perhaps you’ve heard of the granddaddy of overheard sites?

Just when you thought social networking sites would reach their tipping point, you learn about something far scarier than the average MySpace stalker. I read this story a few weeks ago and it still gives me the creeps. (*Note: Some of the language in this article is a little saucy. You were warned.)

Thank you Fark! for leading me to this new joy. Remember, it's not an obsession if you are devoted. Then it's spirituality.

Anyone see "Sons of Hollywood" on A&E earlier this year? The show was probably some executive’s idea of a reality TV version of "Entourage," featuring the sons of Aaron Spelling, Rod Stewart and their buddy/manager Dave Weintraub. Long story short, what "Entourage" may sometimes lack in reality, "Sons of Hollywood" lacked in, well, everything. Imagine "The Simple Life," with a bunch of young rich dudes, but that much more annoying. It was like watching a drunk clown sing karaoke – you didn’t really want to watch, but you did because it was so bizarre.
ANYWAY, Sean Stewart is in trouble with the law, getting sued for allegedly beating the crap out of some guy.

Man, that’s a lot of beer. I’m not a Budweiser kind of guy – strange, I know, seeing as I am of Midwestern descent – but I have to admire the man who can drink over 4,000 beers and do something productive with the empties The best part, Jack Kirby (great name BTW) says he drank four beers a day for three years just to accomplish this feat. Is there any irony in a Brit doing something as American as making a Mustang out of empty Budweiser cans?

Lastly, keep Minneapolis in your thoughts today people. Thanks to everyone who asked - my family and friends appear to be ok, but there are a lot of other people who could use your warm wishes today.

Remember, if you got a website, video or otherwise bizarre phenomenon on the Internet, e-mail me or IM me (JustinNXT) and it’ll end up in the Scanner.

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