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Sunday, November 14, 2004
EDITOR'S NOTE: Jeannine Guttman
Honoring life by talking about it
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Also on this page: THE SERIES | |||||
Today we begin a three-part series that delves into the sensitive topic of teenage suicide. Today's story details the life of Timmy Thompson, 18, a Cape Elizabeth High School graduate whose untimely death this summer touched an entire community. On Monday, we look at another young man, Glen Gilchrist, who died in 1997, and show the journey toward healing that his family has taken. He was 17. On Tuesday, we conclude the series with a look at prevention policy in Maine. In this column, I want to discuss why we decided to tell this public health story, and how our reporter, Barbara Walsh, set out to write about this difficult and emotional issue following Timmy's death on July 24. I want to describe our decision-making process, and how we have tried to report this story in a way that gives proper respect and dignity to these young men, their families, friends and communities. The media, in general, don't delve into this topic very much. In some ways, it remains a taboo subject. Thus, in an area where the media could educate people about a wrenching issue, there is largely silence. There are two overriding reasons for this. First, there is always concern that reporting a teen suicide will somehow glamorize it and influence other vulnerable youths. Realizing that, Walsh spent much time researching the issue when she began the project in late July. From experts in the field of teen suicide prevention, she learned how to present the story in a sensitive way that relays the information while not sensationalizing it. Today, her narrative chronicles how Timmy's family and the community of Cape Elizabeth came together in a time of pain. "This was a story that I couldn't ignore," Walsh says. "But it also was a story that scared me. I knew I had to get this right, to tell it in a way that would help people learn more about suicide and why such a promising young man took his life." Concern with the journalistic presentation went from the headlines and photos to individual word choices. "To honor the vibrant young man Timmy was - and the willingness of his family to be so open after his death - we needed to be extra vigilant and respectful of his story," said series editor Linda Fullerton, assistant managing editor for features. "I feel like I know Timmy and empathize with his family and community." The story is framed largely around Timmy's life, and not his death. It is framed around a valiant and brave family that stepped forth, even in grief, to extend a hand to others. Glen's story, which runs Monday, further illustrates this compassion and the unflagging human spirit. Both stories provide a public service by debunking many myths and misconceptions about suicide. TREADING SOFTLY Another reason you'll find few news stories about suicide is that few families want to discuss it. It is typically a private matter that rarely finds its way into the public consciousness. Timmy's death became public almost immediately, however, driven by a spontaneous outpouring of concern from his friends and classmates. The line of visitors to the South Portland mortuary where his body lay wound down the street and around the block. And it remained that way for hours. In Cape Elizabeth, a large boulder on Route 77 became an overnight memorial to Timmy, and over the course of several weeks, thousands of people saw it on their way to work, to church, to the store, to the beaches. A private matter became public. But it still would have been difficult to write about Timmy if his family had reacted the way many grieving families do to suicide. In this regard, the Thompsons are a remarkable exception. So are Glen's parents, Gilbert Eaton, the Skowhegan high school principal, and his wife Grace, a guidance counselor. After undergoing training in suicide prevention, Gilbert Eaton today helps students and families who may be in crisis. "I have committed myself that I will stop any time and any thing to deal with a kid who needs help," Eaton says. Like her husband, Grace Eaton works with youths in need. Most important, she has reached a place where she can appreciate her son's life without being paralyzed by that one final moment. "He was a great kid with a lot of goals and aspirations. His life was a lot more than that last day," she said. Most families don't want to talk about the tragedy of suicide. Most families work hard to tuck away the incident, locking it deep in the family vault where it is either kept secret, or where it takes on different shapes and interpretations over time. I know about this family vault. In my family, my middle-aged cousin killed himself a few years ago. This remains a painful and unresolved episode within my family and even trying to talk about him is one of the most difficult things imaginable. You simply cannot get information. Instead, there is anger and denial. There is indignation that anyone would even bring up the subject. And so, we don't speak of it, proof that there is still a stigma attached to suicide that prevents people from sharing their grief and pain with others. In my family, I have seen how this inability to talk about something that needs to be talked about, desperately, has kept all of us from finding closure. The pain just lives on, unchecked, tucked away, in our family vault. SHINING A LIGHT ON SUICIDE Not talking about this issue means we don't ever completely come to grips with it, and we don't educate ourselves on the circumstances of what happened. Walsh's stories, which begin today on Page A1 and continue through Tuesday, are designed to educate us all on the nature of suicide, which can stem from emotional or mental health problems. They also are designed to honor two young men and their internal struggles. As his father has said, Timmy was extremely ill. He suffered from depression and possibly bipolar disease. It was illness that took his life. An expert Walsh quoted for Glen's story cautioned against attaching blame for something that is no one's fault. In Monday's story, she quotes Robert Gebbia, executive director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "Suicide is the fatal complication of a psychiatric disorder," Gebbia said. "Suicide is not the fault of bad parenting, it's like any other disease. If someone dies of cancer, we don't blame them or their parents for it. We have to get to the point that suicide is viewed the same way." Walsh began the assignment to learn more about Timmy's life and how his death affected the town of Cape Elizabeth. She said it was one of the most difficult stories she has encountered in 23 years of journalism. "Through reporting Timmy's story, I've felt and seen the unbearable pain of a family and a town, but I also witnessed the courage and hope that the Thompsons have shown to Timmy's friends, his teachers, their community. "I hope this story continues a conversation that the Thompsons have started, a conversation about why so many of our young people die by suicide and what we can do to prevent that from happening." We know that this series will be difficult for some people to read. We have done our best to write and edit the pieces in a way that honors Timmy and Glen and the people who were in their lives. The series addresses an extremely personal and sensitive topic, one that we believe reveals the untold story of how families move through tragedy, finding ways to heal and how a community decides to walk with them. In stories such as these, we appreciate hearing from you, our readers. Your feedback and comments are valuable to us, and will help us to evaluate our work. If you would care to share your thoughts on this series, and I hope you do, please send an e-mail to healing@pressherald.com or call us at 791-6370. Jeannine Guttman is editor and vice president of the Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram. Send e-mail to jguttman@pressherald.com or write to 390 Congress St., Portland, Maine 04101.
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