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August 05, 2008
Family Business
Posted by Daryl Fort

Tonight two Milwaukee Brewer teammates Prince Fielder Manny Parra fought in the team's dugout and it was caught on video (Fielder went after and shoved Parra twice after they exchanged some words). Fielder had to be held back by his other teammates. Brewer manager, Ned Yost, was asked about the altercation after the game and his response was, essentially, to tell the media and public to but out. More specifically, he said what went on was going to stay "in the family" and that it's "a little bit rude for the neighbor to come next door and ask what's going on". I see.

Let's be clear about the idea Yost is invoking here. This is what many would call a "man law" that states that real men handle their own business "in the family" and other men should stay out if they have any respect for the code…and unless they want to risk physical consequences themselves.

Sickening. Sickening when you understand the level of violence that men who are handling "their family business" do in this country: a woman is battered by a man every 9 seconds. One in four women will be the victim of some kind of sexual assault in their lifetime. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to females between the age 15-44. In Maine, domestic violence is annually responsible for the majority of homicides.

So much of this violence is perpetrated right under the nose of friends, family and neighbors of the victims. So many people find all manner of excuses to make the violence "none of their business". Particularly among men, the idea the violence committed by another man towards women and children is "nobody else's business" is the crutch that supports this level of abuse that is catastrophic for so many families in Maine and around the country -- a gutless crutch at the end of the day. It # this code - is antithetical to the attributes of true manhood. It rebukes our humanity.

Hearing someone who is a role model and community leader, whether he likes it or not, reprise what ought to be an extinct social sign is disturbing.

When are we going to be done with this? If the initial response by the national sports media is any indication, this will be treated either as a joke, an entertainment, or as some kind of positive affirmation of what competitiveness among men is all about. Let's hope that we hear more thoughtful commentary that that. And, let's demand more from these men who would be role models for other males, young and old alike.

Posted by Daryl Fort at 12:06 AM

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Comments

It is unfortunate that simply because someone is a talented athlete they are not necessarily a good "role model" as well.

Someone who engages in unseemly behavior while in the public eye not only projects a negative imagage for themself, but also for the organization of which they are a part.

Of course there are many people in sports who project positive images (read Steve Solloway's column in todays's Sports Section, for a good example).

I could not agree more that domestic abuse, no matter what form it takes or who is the abuser, is unacceptable behavior for a member of any type of family.

Posted by Peter Cutler
August 6, 2008 03:56 PM

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