MIKE HOFFMAN:

I think I’m bedridden for the day, after missing almost three months and coming back and playing five games in eight days. I don’t think I can make it down the stairs today to eat, going to see if Sauce is willing to help me out. I must say it’s nice to be back in the mix again, pretty good weekend for us winning two of three.

Definitely been a bit hesitant with the dropping of the gloves with the thumb, but got one tilly under my belt. I must say, I have never been so tired in my life as during that fight. It was tough to see Segal leave, he was a great teammate and a good friend. It was weirder later that day getting paired off with him during the brawl for a minute or so. He was on our team during the pre-game skate and 12 hours later you’re paired off in a brawl. (And there were no punches thrown.)

I think I really missed the boat on this HGH and steroid thing. I mean imagine if I juiced up about
three or four years ago. I’d be in the show for sure. Too bad now you can’t look up buying it on the
Internet without the FBI or that Mitchell guy looking at you. I am not sure I can believe Clemens through all this. Yes, I am a fan of him and watched him with the Sox as a young buck, but I mean if you got your wife doing it … I’m curious how you convince her to do it if you haven’t done it. Maybe he used her as the guinea pig to see her results and decided it wasn’t best for him. (Highly doubtful.) So after I thought about that, I figured what a great idea. So I got my parents’ dog Poochie (she’s at the end of her dog career) and am pumping her with HGH and Balco cream and if the results look good then I figure it’s a good idea. I have already noticed a little jump in her step since the first cycle.

As much as I love Portland and Maine in all, seriously this weather has got to go. I mean we all love our one or two big snow storms a year, but once a week plus another few inches on another day is getting old. Let’s mix an ice storm or two in there too. I park my car on a side street and the other night wouldn’t you know about 10 p.m. I get a knock on the door. It’s a girl who says “I think I just hit your car.” What great news to hear right before bed and wouldn’t you know it was during a snowstorm. Her car definitely took the brunt of it and I ended up with a tiny scratch.

After team mustache month I’ve decided to keep the ’stache going. I’m the lone soldier left, but I did it for two reasons. One, the fans voted on the handle bar a bit back so I will keep it going. Two, if Parros has the million dollar mustache, I got to think mine could be worth hopefully a quarter mil or so. I felt like a real man walking in to get my haircut at the Men’s Room and asked for a boys regular and a mustache trim. It’s coming in nicely. My next step is to get it to start curling I have been looking for some mustache wax to put it in place. I figure by playoff time it should be nearing full completion.

Held off writing because I didn’t have much to write about again till I got in some games. I got to admit once I start playing again my card playing fell right back into place and already had an upset win last week. Another seven games in 10 days so I will be writing on the road next week. I attached another riddle, before Segal left he remembered a few new ones that I couldn’t figure out of course.

Until next time
– hoff

RIDDLE: The Gunshot
A woman is found dead in her car (Lexus we’ll call it) with a gunshot wound to the head. No one has been in or out of the car. All the windows are up, the doors are locked and there is no gun found inside or outside the car. There is no damage to the car what’s so ever. How is that possible?